Secrets to be kept
by SherlockMerlinPotterhead
Summary: Merlin didn't want to have to hide anymore, or lie to his friends. Especially Arthur. Albion is about to dawn, but not before there's love, tragedy, frendship and a lot of magic. Maybe Merlin will have to keep his secret for a little while longer, but with Morgana back how long will it be? And now there's someone else in Camelot calling Arthur a prat. warning Bromance
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, this is my first fanfic. I tried for ages to get it right but in the end I thought if I don't get it up now I never will. Don't like don't read, though I hope you do like it. Please review it would be great to have some feedback. I'll try and update as regularly as I can. Enjoy!**

It was a few weeks after Gwen became Queen, and life had not changed that much in Camelot for Merlin. He was still close friends with Gwen even though she was a royal and he was a servant. Just as the knights thought of him as a brother, that they had to look out for because he was weaker than them. Most of them had become knights because of Merlin, and although they fought for the King and Camelot their loyalty was also to Merlin. Arthur felt the same as them, not that he'd ever admit it to anyone, least of all Merlin.

Arthur was going through a difficult time at the moment. King Everard was continuing the fight over the lands that his Kingdom lost in Uther's reign, even though they had come to an agreement many years ago. It wasn't enough for him. He wanted those lands, and thought now Uther had gone the Kingdom would be unstable. Messengers had been back and forth for months. Arthur was just doing everything he could to avoid a war.

This shouldn't have mattered to a servant. Merlin wasn't just a servant though, he was Camelot's protector. Although he kept his secret hidden for now, he hoped he wouldn't have to for much longer. He was tired of lying to everyone. Merlin was worried that someone would find out soon anyway, after all how long until people would start questioning how they always get out of these life and death situations. Even Arthur couldn't be that clueless. He sometimes thought Gwaine was not as ignorant as he pretended to be as well.

He was right in thinking that his life would change soon, but maybe not in the way he thought.

"Merlin." Gaius called from the other side of the wooden door, Merlin turned over in bed moaning into his pillow. It was not long after dawn, and the sun was still rising over Camelot. light still poured into the room through the window. "Merlin you're going to be late." Merlin only got a few hours sleep that night, which made it all the harder to get up.

"Coming." Merlin groaned, pulling on his usual worn out clothes and neckerchief. "God forbid Arthur would have to dress himself." He muttered.

"Percival asked me to remind you, Arthur's having that hunting trip today." Gaius said looking up from his dusty familiar books as Merlin was about to go.

"Why did Percival ask you to remind me, I can remember things you know." Merlin said indignantly. The knights, although they cared about him, were always thinking he couldn't do anything. Probably because he was clumsy and couldn't even hold sword. Still they really didn't know how much he did for them, and not just protecting Camelot, saving their lives and so on. They used to be commoners so they did most of their work themselves, but they had training almost every day now and court meetings. So since they refused to have servants Merlin offered to help out. Which, with all of them, meant he had a lot more work to do. Sometimes being a good friend wasn't easy. He also had Gaius needing help with errands and his duties as Arthur's servant, and did he not mention the saving Camelot. So sometimes he forgot about things, but most times he didn't.

"Did you prepare the horses." Gaius added. Merlin looked confused for a second, before his bright blue eyes lit up in realisation. This wasn't most times.

"Yes." Merlin said, though even he wouldn't have believed it. Gaius raised his eyebrows the way he always did when he thought Merlin was lying. Merlin knew Gaius saw through his weak lie, but he carried on anyway. "I've just got to go to the stables for something else." Merlin said leaving Gaius's chambers. Gaius sighed looking back at his books.

Merlin was an hour late by the time he got to Arthur's chambers, he was still yawning. "Rise and shine." He called with a grin on his face.

"Merlin how good of you to turn up." Arthur was standing beside his bed with his arms crossed.

"You're dressed." Merlin said, with a shocked look on his face.

"I am capable of getting dressed without you Merlin." Arthur said turning around to get his sword, as he did so you could see that he had his shirt on inside out. Merlin struggled to stop himself laughing. As he thought about just how helpless Arthur was without him.

"What is so funny Merlin?" Arthur said turning back to Merlin frowning, and sheathing his sword.

"No, there isn't... I'm just going to get the horses." Merlin said grinning. Of course he wouldn't tell him, wouldn't want to wound his pride. Besides he was sure one of the knights would point it out to him.

"Idiot." Arthur said trying to seem annoyed.

"Prat." Merlin said before dodging the vase Arthur threw at him. Merlin smiled to himself. Arthur's aim always seemed to get worse when he was around.

Merlin ran a few errands for Gaius, before he went to the courtyard where Gwaine and Percival were already with their horses. He passed Arthur who was saying goodbye to Gwen on the courtyards stone steps, they were holding hands and kissing. Gwen really looked like a queen with her deep blue gown and silver jewellery, though she didn't need all that to look like a queen to Merlin. He'd thought of her as one for years.

"Merlin."Gwaine called. Percival nodded at him smiling, he never did say much. Merlin knew that some people thought that because he was quiet he was dim. That couldn't have been further from the truth, Merlin had heard him say some very wise things. People just didn't take the time to talk to him.

"Gwaine." Merlin said yawning.

"Why so tired my friend?" Gwaine asked.

"I got no sleep last night, and why do we have to leave so early?" Merlin groaned. Gwaine just grinned at him. He knew whenever Merlin was moaning about something he was alright, it's when he stops moaning you have to worry. Merlin would never tell you if there was actually something wrong.

"Princess." Gwaine called, as Arthur came up to them. Knowing how much it annoyed him.

"Gwaine, I've told you not to call me that." Arthur said angrily.

"I'd call you Queen, but I wouldn't want to insult Gwen." Gwaine said. Arthur just sighed, knowing he was fighting a losing battle with Gwaine. He was never going to do as he was told, much like Merlin.

"Leon, Elyon we have to get going so we can get some hunting in before nightfall." Arthur called, as Leon and Elyon came over from the training field. "But we probably won't catch anything anyway with Merlin there."

"What was your excuse before I came along?" Merlin muttered as he mounted his horse.

When they set off into the forest, Merlin had no idea of how his life was about to change.

Tabitha and Tom sat on the edge of the grass underneath the blazing sunset, which was mirrored in the lakes waters. Everything had a calm stillness to it. Tabitha, with her warm honey coloured hair and bright green eyes hugged her knees. She wore an azure blue jumper, with deep blue shorts and see through tights. She also had black slip on shoes. Tabitha had only been at University for a year, and had met Tom in a class a few months ago. All their friends had thought there was something going on. They were just friends though.

Tabitha was going to be a P.E teacher, and she trained every day. Even went jogging in the mornings. Running wasn't her sport though, it was fencing. She had joined the fencing club when she came to the University, and was competing in national events in a matter of months. She was confident in her abilities and had a right to be.

"... So I'm going to my cousins wedding next week, and I don't want to go on my own. Would you like to come?" Tabitha asked.

"Yeah, I'd love to." Tom smiled. "I've not got anything on."

"Thanks, but I'd persuade you to cancel it if you did." Tabitha said, returning the smile.

"You probably would actually. I've got something for you by the way." Tom said getting something out his pocket. Tabitha saw it was a bracelet, it was gold with intricate patterns. There was an amber stone in the middle that burned like the sunset that hung over them. Leaving Tabitha almost breathless.

"Oh, Tom it's stunning. Where did you get it." Tabitha said as he gave it to her. Neither of them had that much money. The bracelet was heavy though, almost as if it was made from actual gold. It couldn't be though.

"I found it." Tom began. "In the attic when I was trying to find those books for Amy."

"Who'd leave this in an attic?" Tabitha asked, speaking more to herself than to Tom.

"I don't know, you could wear it to the wedding." Tom said.

"I will." Tabitha gave Tom a friendly hug. "Thanks."

"It's alright." Tom said smiling. "I've got to go now, I have that lecture remember. Will you be alright?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Don't worry I'll be fine, I'll see you later in the hall." Tabitha said.

"Bye." Tom got up and made his way back up to the university.

Tabitha watched him walk away, before turning back to her bracelet. She slipped it onto her wrist. Usually she hated jewellry, but she couldn't help admire this. Suddenly a warmth began to spread through her, and the stone almost seemed to burn brighter. Tabitha yawned. She had got up early that morning, but she didn't think she should feel this tired already. Tabitha's eyelids felt heavy. Her head fell forward, and her eyes began to close. The bracelet getting warmer. Until the darkness took over.

Tabitha blinked, opening her eyes just enough to see. Not properly awake. She felt the autumn leaves rustling underneath her on the forest floor, and the rough bark of the tree she was leaning against. Sunlight seeped through the trees and onto the faces in front of her. They didn't seem to realise Tabitha was coming around yet.

"Who do you think she could be?" Asked a man. She could only just make him out, he had short dark hair and bright blue eyes. He had worn out clothes and a red neckerchief.

"How am I supposed to know Merlin?" Asked a man in annoyance. He had short, blonde hair, and wore armour. He was also wearing a crest on red material and had sheathed sword.

"I don't know, I was only asking."

"She could be on her way to Camelot." Said a man with long dark hair, also wearing armour like the man before.

"Why would she come alone without anything with her?"

"You can ask her, she's waking up."

Tabitha's bright green eyes opened wide, as she woke up properly. Realising it wasn't a dream, everything came into focus. Now she could see there were more men behind them.

"Don't worry, you're safe. I'm Arthur King of Camelot, these are my knights; Gwaine, Leon, Percival and Elyon. And that's Merlin." Arthur said. Merlin gave her a reassuring smile. "What's your name?" He asked.

"Um." Tabitha began in a higher voice than she meant to. It was all she could get out, even though she had so many things to ask. Tabitha had no idea what was going on, how did she get here? What Arthur said was giving her more questions than answers. Trying to keep herself from panicking she said. "I'm Tabitha."

"Sire we don't know anything about her, she could be a sorceress." Said Leon. "You should be wary of her."

"What?" Tabitha asked even higher, with panic and anger. Even though she didn't understand what she was being accused it didn't make her any less indignant. "Leon we don't make accusations like that." Arthur said. "She's probably just a ordinary commoner."

"What?" Tabitha asked much like before, pushing herself up. She forget immediately that he was standing up for her when he called her a commoner. Did he think he was above her because he claimed to be a King? He wasn't a King, and even if he was he didn't have the right to talk to her like that. As if she wasn't even there. Tabitha didn't usually get angry this quickly it was probably the panic. It took a lot of self control to stop herself shouting at Arthur, because he probably wouldn't tell her what was going on if she did. He seemed to arrogant, and she needed answers. "Where am I?" Tabitha asked her voice slightly more controlled.

"In a forest." Merlin said.

Tabitha just looked at him with exasperation. He was no help either. "Really, I would never have guessed. What with all the trees." She said sarcastically. Gwaine let out a laugh and Arthur smirked.

"You're in the forest of Camelot, a few miles from the East border." Arthur said.

"Camelot...?" Tabitha began, before stopping in thought. "And you're...?" She added to Arthur.

"Arthur, Arthur Pendragon King of Camelot." Arthur said confused, he had just told her.

"King Arthur... Camelot and the knights of the round table...and Merlin." Tabitha said saying her thoughts out loud. She stopped herself, what was she thinking. "What's going on? Am I at some kind of festival?"

"How do you know about the round table?" Gwaine asked.

"Where did you get your bracelet from?" Merlin asked, Tabitha only just realised he'd been looking at her wrist for a long time. At the bracelet with the amber stone in it.

"What are you talking about Merlin?" Arthur asked confused.

"Your bracelet." Merlin said to Tabitha, ignoring Arthur. "You've got to take it off."

"Why." Tabitha asked indignantly.

"Trust me." Merlin said looking into her eyes.

Tabitha wouldn't have taken it off usually, but she did. Because even though she'd known Merlin for all of five minutes. She trusted him. People usually had to earn her trust. She couldn't explain it, there was something about him. Tabitha pulled off the bracelet throwing it to Merlin. Who clumsily dropped it, before picking it up and almost dropping it again. Arthur rolled his eyes, looking like he was fighting to keep himself from commenting.

"Where did you get it?" Merlin asked again.

"I was given it by a friend. He found it." Said Tabitha slghtly defensively.

"Why does her bracelet matter?" Arthur asked getting frustrated.

"It's not just a bracelet. It's an amber fire stone. " Merlin said, turning it over in his hands. "I read about it in one of Gaius's books." Merlin didn't say that he came across it while looking for the eye of the phoenix, the bracelet that Morgana gave Arthur before his quest to find the fisher Kings trident.

"Merlin there may be use for you yet." Arthur said, before asking seriously. "Is it Magic?"

"What's an amber fire stone?" Tabitha asked, before turning to Arthur realising what he had just said. "Wait Magic?"

"Yes." Merlin said answering Arthur.

"Wait What?" Tabitha asked her voice getting higher again.

"What does the bracelet do?" Elyion asked.

"Sorry, do I exist? can you hear me?" Tabitha asked sarcasticly, in frustration. Why they were going on about magic. Which Tabitha knew didn't exist,of course.

"Whoever wears the bracelet goes back into the past, they could only go back a few weeks. Or they could go further." Merlin said. "I think that's what happened, Tabitha what did you want to know."

"What you're talking about. Magic doesn't exist." Tabitha said stubbornly. "And even if it did you wouldn't be able to go into the past." Though even as she said it she thought about how even she had thought that a minute ago, before telling herself it couldn't be true. Which of course it couldn't. Could it?

Merlin was about to say something when Gwaine said. "Is it just me or is that thing glowing." They all turned to the bracelet in Merlin's hand, and he dropped it onto the autumn leaves. The stone was now burning with a dazzling fire, Tabitha watched with wide eyes. It seemed to get brighter and brighter, until it irrupted into a showering amber mist.

The knights stepped back. Merlin pushed Tabitha behind him, before realising the mist was harmless. They were all in stunned silence for a moment. As the mist cleared they could see the bracelet had disappeared.

"Your right magic doesn't exist." Gwaine said. Tabitha was too astonished to say anything back.

"You could of told us that was going to happen." Arthur said to Merlin in annoyance.

"It shouldn't have. It had to have used a lot of power." Merlin said. He turned to Tabitha. "How far into the past have you come."

Tabitha was still staring at the place where the bracelet used to be. Not looking away from it, she said. "If you're who I think you are around one thousand five hundred years."

"One thousand five hundred years?" Gwaine asked incredulously.

Everyone was looking at her in disbelief. She didn't know what to think. Her mind and her eyes were telling her different things, this couldn't be happening. How else did she end up here though. She looked up at Merlin, again trying to hide the panic in her voice. "How do I get back to my time, now the bracelets destroyed."

"I don't know." Merlin said, he turned to Arthur. "We should get her back to Camelot, Gaius will know what to do."

Arthur nodded. "Forget about the hunt.. " Arthur said to the them. "Let's get ready to go. Merlin get your horse." When they had heard a crash in the forest, they left Merlin's horse there because it bolted easily. That's when they found Tabitha. They went about their orders. The knights going over to their horses, and Merlin into the woods. Tabitha stood there for a second, before going after Merlin. She could walk with him, instead of standing around uselessly with the knights.

They were out of sight by the time she could see Merlin. They were still in the trees and the river was out of sight. Merlin couldn't hear Tabitha over the sound of leaves rustling, and the wind sweeping the treetops.

"Merlin." Tabitha called, Merlin turned around quickly. Tabitha gasped as she saw something that couldn't possibly happen, then again she'd seen two of them today. Merlin's eyes, even if it was only for a moment, had flashed a dazzling gold. They then returned to his usual piercing blue. She thought for a second it might have been a trick of the light, but by the look of panic on Merlin's face it hadn't been. "Your eyes." She breathed.

"Please don't tell Arthur." Merlin said desperately, not trying to hide the fear from his voice.

"You're what a sorcerer?" Asked Tabitha. Shocked by how easily that came to her. She was less stunned than Merlin expected her to be, then he remembered she didn't know about the laws. Or how hated and feared magic was. She didn't even think it existed.

"Yes." Merlin said.

"Why don't you want Arthur to know?" Tabitha asked. Merlin didn't know exactly what to say, he had never been asked that. Anyone that ever found out never needed to ask.

"This will take a while." Merlin said sighing. "Magic is against the law, it has been for years. It started with Arthur's father Uther. He lost someone close to him because of magic, and he became bitter. He took it out on magic. Anyone with magic was executed, or had to watch the people they loved die. They either stayed hidden in fear or tried to get revenge on Uther, because of that Arthur has only seen evil sorcerers trying to destroy Camelot. So even though Uther is dead the law is still the same and if he found out who I am now he'd think I'd betrayed him." Merlin finished.

"So, that's why you don't want him to know." Tabitha said.

"Please don't tell him." Merlin said looking deep into her eyes, as if he was looking right into her soul. Tabitha hadn't noticed before but you could still see a glint of gold in his eyes. Even though he wasn't using magic. She then realised she didn't know how long she'd been staring at him. Tabitha looked away.

"Of course I won't tell him, it's your secret to tell." Tabitha said.

"Thanks." Merlin said, smiling and letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"It's alright." Tabitha said, she couldn't help returning the smile. "Why were you using magic anyway?"

"It might take a while to explain it." Merlin said. "We should get back. I'll tell you later." Tabitha was going to argue, but he was probably right. They had been gone a while.

So they went to the river, it was a valley. Sunlight reflected off the azure waves. It was so peaceful with the sound of rushing waters, and crickets chirping. Tabitha almost wanted to stay there, though she knew she couldn't. They both made their way back through the trees, this time with Merlin's horse.

"Where have you been?" Arthur asked.

Tabitha and Merlin looked at each other. "We got lost." Tabitha said, before Merlin could.

"Of course you did." Arthur muttered mounting his horse. "Idiot."

"He meant me." Merlin said quickly when he saw Tabitha's face. Merlin went up to his horse, before looking back at Tabitha. "Coming?"

"On a horse?" Tabitha asked. "I've never ridden a horse in my life." The knights looked at each other.

"It's the only way to get back to Camelot." Leon said. "Unless you want to walk."

"Alright, but if I fall and die I'm blaming you." Tabitha said going over to Merlin.

"Sorry Tabitha." Arthur said. "It's Merlin you're going to fall off."

"You can always come on my horse." Gwaine said with a charming smile, the other knights rolling their eyes.

"I'll take my chances." Tabitha said, as Merlin helped her onto the horse.

It didn't take to long to get back to Camelot, but still Tabitha did well considering she had never ridden a horse. On the way she heard Arthur and Merlin's banter. She was starting to think he was alright, after all he was letting his servant talk back to him. Even if he was calling him an idiot.

The knights asked her a few questions about her time, but they seemed to be avoiding it. Probably because they didn't want to upset her. Tabitha decided she liked them, they made her laugh despite what was going on. She found herself going back to ordinary Tabitha, that was over confident, sarcastic and smiled all the time. They made her forget just for awhile.

When they got to Camelot Tabitha was almost speechless, it was more than she thought it would be. The castle towered over her. It was getting dark when they got back though, so the knights and Arthur said goodnight and that they hoped Gaius could help. Apart from Gwaine who said he hoped she'd have to stay. Tabitha smiled and said goodnight back.

Merlin lead Tabitha to Gaius's chambers. "Gaius." Merlin called out opening the door to find Gaius writing a letter.

"Merlin." Gaius began not looking up. "I need you to give this to Mr stone, he's..." Gaius stopped when he saw Tabitha behind Merlin at the doorway. He seemed to be hoping Merlin hadn't gotten himself into anything. Again.

"Who's this?" Gaius asked.

"This is Tabitha." Merlin said, he briefly explained what had happened earlier. Gaius didn't even blink when Merlin told him what happened. Tabitha was astonished that he believed him without question. She wondered if things like this happened a lot around here.

"Let's find that book we read then." Gaius said. Merlin nodded going over to the shelf, while Gaius offered Tabitha a seat.

Merlin got the book down and put it on the table trying to find the page with the amber fire stone, he did and gave the book to Gaius. Who read it before looking up at Tabitha, his eyes wide. Tabitha's started breathing faster, not sure if that was good or not.

"Do you know anything else about it." Merlin asked. He didn't think there was much to go on in the book.

"Not much is written about fire stones, they are very rare. I've never heard of them before." Gaius looked back at the book. "They take a lot of power to use, a very powerful sorcerer must have enchanted this."

"Do you know how I can get back to my own time?" Tabitha asked hopefully.

"No, I'm sorry. There is nothing written about a way back." Gaius said. Tabitha's face fell.

"There must be something." Merlin said quickly, seeing how upset Tabitha looked. "Gaius is there anything I can do, with my magic." Gaius looked between them, before closing the book and hitting Merlin over the head with it.

"Ow, Gaius she knows." Merlin said, trying to defend himself.

"Why did you tell her?" Gaius said hitting him with the book again.

"Ow, I didn't tell her. She found out. Stop hitting me." Merlin said, getting behind Tabitha.

"Why aren't you more careful." Gaius said slamming the book on the table. "You are going to be the end of me Merlin. After all these years you still can't keep secrets. I don't know how Arthur hasn't found out about you."

"I'm sorry alright, and it's not like everyone knows." Merlin said. If you think of how many people that could have found out about him he was doing very well. "Is there anything I can do though?"

"I know as much as you do." Gaius said sighing, he looked at Tabitha. "The druids may know more." Gaius said.

"They don't." Merlin pulled out the chair beside Tabitha, and put his head in his hands.

"How do you know?" Gaius asked.

"That's how Tabitha found out about me. I was trying to ask the druids about what had happened, with my mind. They were far away though so I had to use magic..." Merlin had been seeing more of the druids, particularly a camp near Camelot in the forest.

"That's why your eyes were gold." Tabitha interrupted.

"Yes, it took a while to get the message to them, but I heard back from them on the way back to Camelot. Even they hadn't heard of an amber Firestone." Merlin said.

"There's no hope then." Tabitha said her voice breaking.

"There's always hope." Gaius said, putting his hand on her shoulder. "I'm afraid I must go, I still have duties to attend to. Good night Tabitha. I want you to know how sorry I am that I couldn't have been of more help." He went over to the door.

"It's alright Gaius, night." Tabitha said, but she couldn't hide the disappointment. You could see she was holding back tears.

"I'm not going to ask if your alright." Merlin said.

"I can handle it, I am alright." Tabitha said wiping tears away from her eyes, blinking. She gave him a fake smile.

"You don't have to keep it together you know." Merlin said. "Not for me." Tabitha never let herself cry, not unless she was with close friends. She didn't like being seen as weak. So she hid it, just like Merlin did everyday. So when he looked into her eyes he could see past all that, to how afraid she was.

"Yes, I do." Tabitha said quietly. She didn't say anything else, and though Merlin wanted to talk to her about it he didn't push her. "Where do I sleep?" Tabitha asked.

"Arthur gave you a chamber in the East wing, I'll take you." Merlin said, Tabitha nodded. Merlin took her to her chamber, and though she was talking to him you could tell her mind was taken up with something else. As you would expect. She was taking all that better than most would though.

"Can I just say?" Merlin began when they were at her door. "Thank you for not telling Arthur, for trusting me. It means a lot."

"No worries." Tabitha said. "Probably need as many friends as I can get."

"You're not alone, you know." Merlin said, Tabitha nodded. "Bye." Merlin said smiling.

"See you." Tabitha said returning the smile, when she closed the door behind her her smile fell. She missed Merlin. He'd only been gone a few seconds, it probably wasn't that she missed Merlin. She just didn't want to be alone. Tabitha sighed, leaning her head against the door.

Tabitha couldn't keep it together any more, she felt tears begin to fall from from her eyes. She got onto the bed and hugged her pillow. Like she had six months ago, when her parents had split up. It felt like a part of her life had died, but now it was like her entire life was over. She had never felt so afraid. Last time she was like this she called Tom, and he had told her everything she wanted to hear. That it would get better. That he'd be there for her. Where was he now. Merlin was wrong, she was alone.

What if she never got back to her own time? What about her family? Tabitha had an older brother called Matt, and a younger sister called June. She loved Tabitha more than anyone. When Tabitha wasn't at University she took her to London, for the Musicals. Even as Tabitha thought of it she cried harder. She was supposed to take June to the aquarium after the wedding, they were going to visit Matt while they were there. She'd also get to see her parents when she dropped off June. What if she never saw them again? Or Tom? Would they ever know what happened to her?

It was all to much to think about. She didn't know what time it was, but it had been dark outside for a long time. There was no moon. There were bright stars in the sky though, moon-splashing Camelot in light. She didn't know that not to far away there was someone else lying in bed staring into the night. Thinking, just as she was, how their life wasn't how it was supposed to be. Merlin just wanted things to change, though what he didn't know was they already had. Eventually her eyes began to close. Then Tabitha fell into dreamless sleep.

**Thank you so much for reading :) Next chapter will come soon. Please review:) :) :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hiya, sorry I took so long to update. My computer broke, I know bad excuse. It's the best I can give though. I wasn't completely happy with this chapter. So if anyone has any idea how to improve it review. Or if you don't review anyway :) Enjoy!**

The fire flickered with a dim light, casting shadows around the stone walls. Though it came nowhere near lighting up the dark night. Or warming the cold hearts of the two women stood around it. Morgana stood in the ruined castle. An evil smirk on her face, as she thought of what had been there before she came. A king had refused to become her ally, saying she was a sorceress therefore had no right to the throne. He made himself her enemy. It was not a very powerful Kingdom, nothing compared to the might of Camelot. It was easy to destroy with the use of magic.

Especially now there were two of them. Morgana remembered the months she had been alone. With nothing but the silence left behind by her sisters death, and the emptiness. She still often missed her, but at least she had Myra by her side.

A sorceress, Myra, had approached her a few months ago. To offer her help to destroy the Pendragons. Her family had died at the hands of Uther Pendragon in the purge. Morgana was fond of her as she reminded her of her sister, that cunning determination. She was also powerful, though not as powerful as Morgana.

Her knowledge of magic was useful though. Myra used to be a druid, but turned against them and their peaceful ways. She had lost her parents, everything she had, and they just turned a blind eye. Before Morgana had no love, yet no hate for the druids. Now she found a sense of betrayal from them. They had enough magic to destroy Camelot, but they just stood by and watched as the pyres were lit.

As Myra used to be a druid she knew about Emrys, and told Morgana everything she knew about the man that she feared so much. Everything she was told only made her hate this Emrys even more. Why would he help Arthur Pendragon? He was the King of Camelot, yet magic was still persecuted. He was just like his father. If only she knew who Emrys really was. Sometimes in her dreams she thought she recognised him, there was something in the eyes.

Maybe it didn't matter. Soon they would be powerful enough to take Camelot, successfully this time. With or without Emrys. Too many times Arthur Pendragon had been allowed to live, and she knew he would soon meet his end.

Morgana's dreams for a long time had been taken up with Emrys, but a matter of days ago she had had a vision. It had been so clear. She had actually felt the emotions of the people in her dreams, there where some she hadn't felt for a while. Such as love and guilt, but mostly they were of rage, hatred and pain. These were ones Morgana was more used to.

She hadn't seen everything, only part of what was yet to come. She saw the knights of Camelot, and Arthur Pendragon. A sword leaving the Kings hand. A women she had never met, with long honey blonde wavy hair and bright green eyes, crying over a body. She saw sir Gwaine lashing out at the King in a rage and Arthur, hating himself, made no attempt to stop the attack. She saw him being stabbed, by who she couldn't see. Maybe it was sir Gwaine. Anger and pain had surged through her. Morgana felt more in a few minutes than she had felt in years.

Arthur would die. Not by her own hand, that did not matter though. Morgana knew it was cold, but when she thought of the people she used to love dying. She felt nothing. In her mind they had betrayed her, and deserved everything they got.

Morgana knew the vision was near, if everything went as it was meant to she wouldn't have to do anything. She would keep an eye on it though. As soon as the king was dead and Camelot was at it's weakest she would attack, and the throne would be hers. Her old friend wouldn't put up much of a fight when her heart was broken.

When she was sitting on that throne, she would only remember Arthur as the man that got in her way.

Morgana's eyes flashed gold and the fire went out, now there was only the stars to light her way. She turned to Myra, who returned her smirk. They took each others hand and disappeared into thin air. Leaving only darkness in their wake.

"Rise and shine." Merlin called to Arthur who was still in bed. Sunlight poured into the chamber, as he opened the curtains. Just before a pillow hit him in the face.

"Shut up Merlin." Arthur muttered. "It's too early. Go away you idiot."

"Arthur you're awake" Merlin said.

"No I'm not." Arthur said irritably, turning over and closing his eyes.

"Arthur get up, you have Knights training in ten minutes." Merlin said. Finding his clothes, and throwing the pillow back at him.

"Hey." Arthur said angrily, when the pillow hit him on the back of the head. "Wait, what do you mean knights training?"

Merlin gave him a confused look. "Well, you go out and train the knights. Sorry I thought that you would know by now. Then again I know how forgetful you can be."

"Merlin, what have I said about you trying to be funny" Arthur said. "Why is it in ten minutes?"

"Um, well I might of overslept." Merlin said. Arthur rolled his eyes. "You said it was too early anyway, would you want me to have woken you earlier? Either way I get something thrown at me and called an idiot." Merlin said.

"Shut up Merlin. You should have woken me up when I told you to. You must be the most..." Arthur began to rant.

"I know, I'm the most useless incompetent servant you've ever met." Merlin interrupted. "Can you hurry up and get dressed so I can go." Merlin said giving Arthur his clothes, and starting to clean the chambers.

"Why are you in such a hurry." Arthur asked suspiciously.

"I'm going to see Tabitha." Merlin said.

"Oh, I see." Arthur said smiling to himself.

"What do you mean?" Merlin asked before going red. "No, no, no, no... No. It's not like that, we're just friends."

"Merlin, I get it you're just friends." Arthur said, dragging out the word friends, enjoying seeing his servant get all flustered.

"Yes, friends. She's just found out she's probably not getting back to her own time. So I'm going to go and see how she is." Merlin said seriously.

"Oh sorry." Arthur said looking guilty. "Was she alright when she found out?"

Merlin sighed. "She pretended to be, but I don't think she was. Well, who would be?" Merlin said.

"You should go to her." Arthur said. "She shouldn't be on her own, ask her if she wants to come to training."

"You mean I can go?" Merlin asked, Arthur nodded. He went to go before Arthur could change his mind. Merlin stopped in the doorway. "Are sure you'll be alright."

"Merlin I think I can cope." Arthur said, so Merlin went. Remembering Arthur's attempt to dress himself yesterday, and smiling.

Tabitha woke up, her eyes fluttering open. She was barely awake. She almost fell asleep again, but the confusion made her sit up in panic. For a second Tabitha forgot where she was, and then it all came back to her.

When she thought of it now though, she felt nothing. Perhaps she'd cried herself out last night. She always felt better in the day than the night though. So she didn't even begin to think she was over it, it hadn't even been a day after all.

Tabitha yawned. She always got up early, but she didn't get much sleep last night. She didn't even know why she had woken up. She turned over and closed her eyes, trying to get back to sleep. Then the answer came to her with a knock on the door.

"Tabitha are you up yet?" Merlin called.

Tabitha thought of pretending to be asleep, but she didn't want to leave Merlin waiting outside. She honestly wanted to see him. He was the only real friend she had here yet. That didn't make getting up any easier though. After throwing a silent tantrum, which involved Tabitha screaming into her pillow, she slowly forced herself out of bed. She went and opened the door.

"You're awake." Merlin said. You could tell she'd only just got up. Not by her hair though, which hung around her shoulder still shinning in the sunlight. Or her clothes which she had only worn a few hours before she came here. You could tell by her green eyes, which didn't have their usual brightness, and were barely open.

"You don't say." Tabitha said irritably.

"Oh, sorry I didn't mean to wake you." Merlin said apologetically, his face fell. Tabitha sighed. Any annoyance she had for him was gone, and instead she felt guilty.

"It's alright." Tabitha said. "Sorry for the sarcasm, I just didn't get much sleep last night. I shouldn't take it out on you. Thank you for getting me up by the way."

Merlin looked concerned when Tabitha said she didn't get much sleep, but he didn't say anything more on the matter. "I'm used to it, I have to wake up Arthur every morning. He throws things at me for waking him too early, then tells me off for not getting him up earlier."

"He sounds like a prat." Tabitha laughed. Merlin gave her a confused look, trying to remember if he'd ever called Arthur a prat while she was around.

"Yes, you could call him that." Merlin said smiling to himself. "I came to ask you if you wanted to come to knights training? The knights you met yesterday will be there. Though seeing as you met Gwaine yesterday it might put you off."

"Thank you, I will come." Tabitha said. Not that she had much else to do. They went down to the training field together, Merlin talking and laughing with her. Tabitha always thought of herself as a friendly person, but Merlin was something else. He had a way of talking to people that just made you want to open up to him. Tabitha wanted to tell him about how she felt last night, but she told herself they were only just friends. It's not like he was Tom.

Arthur and the rest of the knights were on the training field, by the swords. They all told Tabitha how sorry they were for her. She liked that they really seemed to care, but didn't really want the pity. She was almost thankful when Gwaine started flirting with her. Of course all the other knights told him off, and all of them began arguing. Tabitha just found herself laughing at them. They were like brothers.

"We apologise for Gwaine." Merlin muttered to Tabitha, who just smirked.

"Hey." Gwaine said overhearing them. "Merlin I'm hurt."

"We should get on with training." Arthur said. "Merlin give me my sword."

"I'll get it." Tabitha said, she had seen him put his down, so she knew which one was his. She was nearer than Merlin and Arthur, though she thought Arthur could have gotten it himself.

She lifted it, glinting in the sun. It was a breathtaking sword. It wasn't that different form the swords she had used though, but they had been lighter. Still it wouldn't be that hard to get used to.

"Have you used a sword before?" Asked Arthur. Tabitha nodded, not taking her eyes off the sword she held in her hand. "Any good?"

"Very good." Tabitha said confidently. "You?"

"I'm the king of Camelot." Arthur said, as if that answered her question.

"So that makes you better than everyone else?" Tabitha asked.

"Well no, but why? Do you think you're better?" Arthur asked. Realising he had probably sounded a bit arrogant, but was too proud to apologise.

"I don't know yet, care to find out?" Tabitha asked.

"Tabitha." Merlin said warningly.

"I don't want to hurt you." Arthur said.

"You won't." Tabitha said. "Besides who says it will be me getting hurt?" Gwaine grinned at her. Admiring her bravery.

"Al right, but don't say I didn't warn you." Arthur said. Tabitha threw him his sword and Percival passed her another.

"Arthur you can't do this." Merlin said, as Arthur passed him to follow Tabitha onto the training field. Merlin not wanting either of them to get hurt, and thinking Arthur gave in way to easily.

"Merlin, It's be alright. I'll go easy on her." Arthur said patting him on the back.

"Why am I not reassured?" Merlin muttered.

They went and stood in training field, Arthur made sure he was facing into the sun. As he was only doing this to humour Tabitha. Tabitha tightened her grip on the sword, probably not as confident as Arthur. Though still thinking she could hold her own long enough to prove herself. That's all she hoped to do anyway.

Merlin stood with the knights, honestly not sure what he wanted the outcome to be. He knew what he was expecting to happen though, as did the others. Arthur had to win, didn't he?

They nodded to each other. Tabitha brought down her sword on his, and Arthur had to take a step back. not expecting such a blow. Though he soon got over it swinging his sword. There was the loud clang of metal, and more followed. Most fell after the first blow, but Tabitha was faster than most. She also seemed to have a strategy.

The fight went on longer than anyone thought it would. The knights couldn't believe she was still holding her own, and other servants were starting to gather. There hadn't been a magical attack in Camelot for weeks so they hadn't had much to gossip about.

Soon Arthur and Tabitha both began to get tired, and had slower reactions. Suddenly Tabitha turned and gave Arthur a blow to the side. He fell to the ground with a thud. Tabitha put her sword on his chest. "I did warn you." She said, even though she was almost breathless and they were both red in the face.

Merlin and the rest of the knights didn't really take in what happened, none of them actually thought she would be better than Arthur. After a while Gwaine began laughing, and the others soon followed. The look on Arthur's face from being beaten by a women was too much. They all knew they wouldn't let Arthur forget this any time soon.

Merlin laughed more out of relief than anything else, as he let out a breath he'd been holding throughout the fight.

Tabitha dropped her sword and offered Arthur her hand, which he took. "I must say wasn't expecting that." Arthur said. "You're alright with a sword."

"I could say the same to you." Tabitha said.

"Where did you learn to fight like that?" Arthur asked.

"Around." Tabitha said shrugging.

The knights came over Gwaine still in fits. While the others were trying to hide their smiles. Arthur prepared himself for what was to come.

"Well fought sire." Elyion said trying to keep a straight face.

"Everyone loses from time to time." Leon said.

"Yes, it was a very honourable defeat." Merlin said, before he burst out laughing. Meaning no one else could hold it in either.

"At least we've got it over with." Arthur said.

"This is never going to be over" Gwaine said gasping. "I will hold this over you for years to come."

"Can we get on with training?" Arthur said irritably.

They didn't know Gwen had seen them from the castle though. She had assumed Tabitha was the women Arthur had spoke of yesterday, as she had never seen her in Camelot before. She had never met Tabitha, yet she already had a lot of respect for her. Not just because she had lasted so long against Arthur, but because she had been brave enough to go up against the King of Camelot. Gwen left the window and carried on with her duties deciding she would talk to Arthur about Tabitha later.

Training went on for hours that day, with Merlin and Gwaine bringing up the fight any time they could. Until Merlin shouted something and Arthur tackled him to the ground. With them both ending up in fits. Some nobles scowled at Merlin for his disrispectful attidude, while others found it highly amusing.

Arthur had let Tabitha join training for the day, though you could tell she had only used a sword before. She wasn't so good with other weapons. But the knights were very supportive. Leon and Percival helped her with her aim when throwing daggers, and Gwaine and Elyion taught her how to use a mace. With Gwaine flirting with her at every possible opportunity. By the end of the day she was up to a good standard.

She felt a strong sense of loyalty to the knights, they were good men. Apart from Leon she knew they all used to be commoners. From what she could see becoming knights hadn't changed them at all. You could tell from how they treated Merlin like a younger brother. Even though he was a servant.

She was always changing her mind about Arthur, she didn't care that he was King. She would think of him as she did everyone else. He was proud and arrogant. Wouldn't take advice unless he was the one to ask for it. Tabitha also didn't like him for persecuting magic, so blindly doing as his father did instead of trying to find the truth. Also the way he was hurting Merlin. Even if he wasn't doing it knowingly. He was basically a prat.

Though when you get past that, she could see why Merlin had stayed with him for so long. As, after all that even Tabitha could see he was a good King. Arthur did as he thought was right. He also didn't care about status as much as most Kings did, he spoke to his servant as a friend. He respected bravery and showed mercy to his enemies. He also, most importantly, seemed to really care about his people. Anyone could see he would never knowingly do anything to hurt Merlin. Maybe Merlin was right, he wasn't always a prat.

When training was eventually over that day it was starting to get dark. It was near the end of autumn though, so it wasn't that late. She said goodbye to the knights. They asked Merlin if he wanted to come to the tavern but he said he had other things to do. Arthur made some comment about him not going to the tavern for once. Tabitha had never thought of Merlin as someone who drinks, and from Gwaine's confused expression neither did he. He almost seemed like he was going to say something but stopped himself.

"Anyway if you're not going we should get back to the castle." Arthur said.

"You aren't coming to the tavern?" Leon asked.

"Although I'd love to give Gwaine another chance to torment me." Arthur said with a look to Gwaine, who shrugged innocently. "I've not seen Guinevere all day, and I have to work on that peace treaty for Everards Kingdom."

"Bye then, see you tomorrow Tabitha." Gwaine said winking. Tabitha just grinned.

"When will you give that up?" Tabitha asked.

"Not till the day I die my fair maiden." Gwaine said, the other knights rolled their eyes. Waving, before they walked off.

Arthur, Tabitha and Merlin made their way towards the castle. "Once again I apologise for Gwaine."

"I would also like to apologise for Arthur, for not giving you a good challenge." Merlin said.

"Both are excepted." Tabitha said.

"Merlin say one more thing about earlier and I will tackle you again." Arthur said in a dangerous tone.

"Would I?" Merlin said. "... You'd probably have to ask for Tabitha to teach you how first." Merlin began before running off, when Arthur made to push him over.

When they finally did get to the castle Merlin went off to clean Arthur's armour, and Tabitha went for a look around. Arthur was trying to find Gwen and eventually found her in his chambers.

Gwen was dressed in a night blue dress. Her dark hair was tied back, keeping it out of her deep brown eyes. Her face lighting up when she saw him. "Guinevere." Arthur said kissing her tenderly. "How was your day?"

"Good. How about yours?" Gwen asked.

"It was..." Arthur stopped for a second. "Good..."

"Arthur, I saw what happened. With that women. Tabitha?" Gwen said.

"Did everyone see that." Arthur whined, Gwen nodded a slight smile on her face. "I don't think anyone will ever let me forget that, least of all Gwaine."

"She lasted longer than needed to become a knight." Gwen said.

"Yes, much longer." Arthur said.

"She also seemed very brave." Gwen continued.

"Yes, she was." Arthur said. Gwen looked at him expectantly. "Where are you going with this?"

"I think you know." Gwen said. Arthur looked confused, before he caught on.

"No Gwen, no I can't. knighting commoners is one thing, and I didn't even get full support from the court for that." Arthur said.

"You don't need support from the court, your King. The decision lies with you." Gwen said.

"My father would never have agreed to this." Arthur said.

"Your fathers not here, and don't you pretend you're him. Do you think he would have agreed to knighting commoners, to being friends with a servant... To marrying me." Gwen said. "Do you regret any of those decisions."

Arthur pulled her closer to him. "You know I don't." He said reassuringly.

"I spoke with Gaius earlier. She needs a new life here, and from what I've seen she's not going to be a maid." Gwen said.

"Tell me about it, she's almost as disrepectful as Merlin." Arthur said.

"Well then...?" Gwen asked hopefully.

"I don't know." Arthur said sighing. "There might be something I can do."

"Sire." Merlin said coming in. They stepped away from each other. "Will there be anything else?"

"Merlin what have I told you about knocking." Arthur said.

"Um... Do it?" Merlin asked. Arthur nodded folding his arms. "I'll just go then... Bye Gwen."

"Bye Merlin." Gwen said, before turning back to Arthur. "I've got to go now, just... Promise me you'll think about it."

"I promise." Arthur said.

"Thank you." Gwen said kissing him, before she left the chamber. Arthur went and sat on the bed, putting his head in his hands. He didn't want to disappoint Gwen. Yet he couldn't really knight a women could he?

Tabitha was about to go back to her chambers, when in the corridors she ran into a women. She was carrying an armful of dresses. The women seemed to recognise her.

"Oh I'm sorry. Hi I'm Guinevere, but you can call me Gwen." Gwen said.

"Hi I'm Tabitha." Tabitha said, before taking in the name. And seeing the jewellery Gwen wore. "Wait, are you the Queen?" She blurted out, then realising that probably wasn't very respectful

Gwen laughed good heartedly, she had never got that reaction since she became Queen. "Yes, I am. I heard about what happened, you not being able to get back to your own time. I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Tabitha said.

"I've put some more clothes in your room, I used to be a seamstress." Gwen said.

"Really?" Tabitha said, taken aback. "That's so kind, your Queen you didn't have to do that."

"It's my pleasure, I've had some time on my hands anyway." Gwen said.

"I wouldn't think you would, being Queen." Tabitha said.

Gwen sighed. "He's been King for a while now, he seems to think he should be like his father. Bare the burden on his own. It's too much for one man. I do have duties. Not many though, it's mostly just meeting people and standing at the back of council meetings. I don't really say much, apart from when the knights of the round table meet up. Every time I ask him about it he just says he can handle it. I don't think he don't think he knows he's pushing me away, and I know he trusts me. I'm probably overeating."

"Prat." Tabitha muttered.

"You've been talking to Merlin haven't you?" Gwen said.

"Yes why?" Tabitha asked.

"It doesn't matter." Gwen said. "I'm sorry for going on, I hope you don't think badly of me for it."

"Of course not." Tabitha said.

"I'm going to go see if I can find Elyion." Gwen said.

"I think he's at the tavern." Tabitha said.

"The tavern?... He's meant to be meeting me, it's Gwaine he's a bad influence." Gwen sighed.

"Tell me something I don't know. Bye Gwen." Tabitha said smiling.

"Bye Tabitha, I hope to see you tomorrow." Gwen said, when she was gone Tabitha didn't really know what to do. She had been intending to go back to her chambers. After last night though, she didn't want to be alone at night. Then she thought she could go to the person she trusted most in Camelot, her first friend here.

Merlin was in his chambers, reading through his magic book. He still didn't know how he understood the symbols of the old religion. Having never been taught. He never really thought about it though, it was like the words just cmae to him. That wasn't unexpected seeing as the old religion was a part of him.

"Merlin it's Tabitha." Tabitha called through the door. Merlin looked up, he was used to hiding his magic book when anyone came in. Tabitha was going to see it sooner or later though. So he just closed it and threw it onto his pillow.

"Come in." Merlin called. Tabitha opened the door and came in.

"Sorry to come here, it's just I felt really alone last night. I needed someone to talk to, but I didn't think I knew you well enough. So I kept everything I needed to say to myself just like I always do. I was just thinking could I stay here? And could we just stay up and talk for a while?" Tabitha asked.

"Yes, come and sit." Merlin said, Tabitha went and sat beside him. "You know I overheard Gwen asking Arthur to make you a knight earlier."

"A knight?" Tabitha said, the thought never occurring to her. She honestly didn't know if she wanted to become one. She didn't want to be in the castle day after day, and she would get to use a sword. But would she have to kill people in battle. Tabitha didn't think she would be able to do that, it went against everything she thought was right. She would be doing it to protect people though. But why was Gwen even talking to Arthur about this. "Why?"

"She saw you and Arthur, you were better than the king Tabitha. Lasted so much longer than you need to to become a knight." Merlin said.

"I'm still a women though, it's not going to happen." Tabitha said. "Even if it did I don't know if I could do it."

"Many people wouldn't want to risk their lives so often, and you've only been here a day. It's nothing to be ashamed of." Merlin said.

"It's not that." Tabitha said. She hadn't thought that she could die, even though there was agood chance she would. That wasn't what worried her about the idea though. "Merlin have you ever killed anyone?" Tabitha asked.

Merlin froze. He had often not been able to sleep at night with feelings of guilt and regret. Not only because of people he had killed, but because of people he was unable to save. He knew he couldn't save everyone, not that he'd ever stop trying to. "Yes." He said, she just nodded. "I have only ever done it to protect people though, I swear."

"I believe you." She said. Tabitha had been expecting that answer, he was Camelot's secret protector after all. She also didn't think he was the kind of person to hurt anyone without good reason. Tabitha decided to ask something else that had been on her mind. "Why does Arthur hate magic? I know his father persecuted it, but he should be able to see through his own eyes by now. He knows about the druids and that they're peaceful. "

"He's lost a lot because of magic. Also because of the purge he's only ever seen evil sorcerers trying to kill him or take over Camelot. He's not seen that much of the druids, not enough to see magic as a force for good." Merlin sighed. "I just wish I could show him the good in magic. Look at this." Merlin said a few words under his breath, and blew on a candle near to him. His eyes flashed gold for a few seconds. Tabitha looked in awe as embers sparked from the flame, and in the air formed a dragon. They where silent for a moment.

"It's beautiful." Tabitha breathed. Going over to the window, as the embers either died away or flew into the night sky.

"Yeah, it is." Merlin said almost to himself, getting up to go over to her. They both looked into the night sky and at Camelot. Tabitha's face reminded Merlin of the first time he had seen it. Tabitha turned to smile at him.

They stayed up for hours after that, telling each other about their past. Merlin told her of the many quests he had been on with Arthur, and the times he actually wasn't a prat. He also spoke of Freya, and Tabitha's heart went out to him. The thought of him losing the women he loved so young.

Tabitha told Merlin about her life in her own time and of how much she missed the people she cared about. Merlin put his arm around her, and told her they would always be with her.

Tabitha realised how fortunate she was to have a friend like him. He was something special, just in so many ways. Now when he told her she wasn't alone, she really believed him.

Eventually Tabitha fell asleep on Merlin's shoulder, she seemed so peaceful. Merlin didn't want to wake her. He carefully moved her head onto the pillow. He also put a blanket over her.

"Night." He whispered, stroking some hair from her face. From the door his eyes flashed golden, and the flickering candle went out. Merlin slept on the floor that night.

They didn't know though, that destiny was taking place around him. Part of Morgana's vision was soon to come true. It all started in a few weeks.

**I've already written most of chapter two and will post as soon as possible. I know what you're thinking Merlin can't die, but what Morgana dreamed about has to happen. We'll have to wait and see :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hiya, it's only been a week this time. Not so happy with the chapter. So some constructive criticism would be really useful :) I'd like to say thank you to IndiaMoore and natcel for their awesome reviews :) It's really what kept me writing :)**

Tabitha found herself over the next few weeks settling into Camelot, her life here being made around her. Merlin was her closest friend, and she still went and talked to him every night. Though usually she got back to her chambers before she fell asleep. She knew Merlin needed those talks as much as she did, he hadn't had anyone to talk to about his magic since the knight Lancelot died.

She also found herself getting closer to everyone around her. She and Gwen became good friends, and the knights. Tabitha liked hearing about what had happened in Camelot before she came, but a lot of it didn't make much sense. She didn't say anything though, knowing Merlin would probably of had something to do with it. Tabitha found out that if you know about Merlin's magic it was like seeing another side to Camelot, it wasn't always easy to see from both sides though . Tabitha hated that magic was thought of as evil. Everytime Arthur said something like that Tabitha just wanted to scream at them. Why couldn't they see what was in front of them. All she knew was if Merlin couldn't change their minds about magic when the time came, no one could.

Yet for a Kingdom that had such a hatred of magic no one ever talked about that hatred, except for the nobles. All the knights tended to keep their thoughts to themselves. It made Tabitha begin to think maybe they don't think of magic as evil, or at least they thought Uther went to far with the purge.

Tabitha had heard them talking a lot about magic recently, mostly of Morgana. The knights told her about how they found out she was trying to find allies. To find someone that hated Camelot enough to try and destroy it. Tabitha stopped herself saying that with Uther having been on the throne for so long she wouldn't have to go far. She knew the knights never really felt any loyalty to Uther, still she didn't want them to think that she had anything against Camelot.

They really seemed to trust Tabitha, telling her things she probably shouldn't know. It meant a lot to her though. She made a promise to herself that she would never betray that trust. Especially to Arthur. He wasn't one to give away trust easily now, and after all that had happened with Morgana. She didn't blame him.

Tabitha was really starting to get an idea of the sort of person Morgana was. She had heard what most people had to say about her, before and after she became evil. For people like Arthur though it hurt to much to talk about Morgana in that way, the woman that used to be like a sister to him. Tabitha understood why Morgana had attacked Camelot. Fear and anger can do that to a person. But she couldn't forgive her for what she had done to everyone, most of all Merlin. He hated himself for hurting her and felt guilty every day for what she forced him to do, after all he had to protect Camelot. It was cruel to make him choose. As well as all that she murdered so many innocents in the name of justice. Maybe she was more like her father than she thought. Even though Tabitha had never met Morgana, she hated her more than she cared to say.

Tabitha carried on training with the knights, no one really spoke about what it meant. She just went there with Merlin every day and the knights asked if she wanted to join in. She always felt like Arthur was watching her though, as if he was judging her like he did the other young knights. He was like that when he fought against her as well. He may have defeated her a few times, but they were even overall. Also every time he won she could say that she went easy on him. It annoyed him so much, and amused Tabitha and Merlin to no end.

As you can probably guess Tabitha didn't become a knight, but she did become the next best thing.

A week or two after Tabitha arrived Arthur called a meeting of the knights of the round table. Also Merlin, but that went without saying. Since there were no nobles he got to sit at the table with the rest of them. Gwen came along too, as most of this was happening because of her. That's probably why Arthur called them together so early, he didn't want Gwen to be angry at him.

Tabitha didn't know why she was there though, least of all that it was about her. "I have called you here, because I have come to a decision about making Tabitha a knight." Arthur said. Tabitha choked on her drink, coughing as she tried to get her words out.

"Wait what!? Me a knight... Arthur, that's really good of you it's just..." Tabitha looked around the table, they all seemed to have been expecting this. "Wait. Did you all know about this?" She added, they all nodded. Even Merlin. Why hadn't he told her Tabitha thought to herself.

"Yes, we were talking to Arthur about it last night." Leon said.

"In the tavern." Gwaine added.

"Did you have to say that?" Arthur asked, Gwen was looking at him disapprovingly.

"Yes, I have a reputation to keep up." Gwaine said.

"Wait." Tabitha said, still trying to make sense of everything in her head. "What were you saying about me?"

"How we thought you had it in you to become a knight, Tabitha." Gwaine said. "You've showed Arthur up enough times for it."

"I'm good with a sword. That's not enough though, have we all forgotten that I'm a woman. I'm not even a noble. No one will think I should be able to be a knight." Tabitha said. Why couldn't they see that? She couldn't understand how they thought anyone would agree to this.

"Not everyone thinks we should be able to become knights." Elyion said.

"That's different and you know it." Tabitha said. "Anyway isn't there a law against it or something?"

"Even if there was. I'm King Tabitha, I can change the law." Arthur said.

"But you won't. Don't be a prat." Tabitha frustratedly. "I won't let you do this, not for me. It would cause problems with the court, and I don't want that. Just because you're King doesn't mean that you can do anything you want."

"Tabitha I hear what you're saying, and I agree. Officially making you a knight would cause too many problems." Arthur said, trying to calm her down. "So I'm going to unofficially make you a knight."

"What do you mean?" Tabitha asked looking confused, he wasn't making any sense.

"We've been talking, and we came up with a way this can work. You'd be a knight in every way, except by title. You'd train with us, come out on patrol. Even come to council meetings if you want." Arthur said.

"Why would she want to come to council meetings?" Merlin asked.

"Yeah, I'd rather be at the tavern." Gwaine said.

"You'd always rather be at the tavern, and she'd want to come to hear about any threats to Camelot." Arthur said.

"Oh, you see I don't know that because most of the time I'm asleep." Merlin said.

"Is that in council meetings or in life?" Arthur asked.

"..." Merlin tried to think of a come back, but couldn't. "Prat." He muttered.

"Idiot." Arthur said.

"Won't people notice if I'm training with you and going out on patrols?" Tabitha asked ignoring them, they weren't taking any of this seriously.

"Probably even the nobles aren't that ignorant." Merlin said.

"Merlin." Arthur said, hitting him on the back of the head. Pretending to be annoyed.

"What? I said their not ignorant." Merlin said indignantly.

"Won't it be a problem though?" Tabitha asked. If Arthur and Merlin could stop arguing maybe they would tell her their plan, actually that would probably never happen. She turned and asked someone else. "Gwen?"

"I wouldn't think so." Said Gwen. "Unless it's made official I doubt they'd say anything. Why would they, as long as there are knights protecting them they don't really mind. I don't think any of them would have opposed commoners being made knights if they hadn't been informed. They'd have just looked the other way."

"Also Arthur hasn't been King long and they want to stay on his good side." Leon said.

"I still don't know about this." Tabitha said. After taking in everything they said, she didn't know what she had done to make them want to do all this for her.

"Why not?" Elyion asked.

"I don't know." Tabitha said in frustration. In the back of her head she knew why she was so unsure, she thought if she did this it would be like accepting that there was no way back. She would never get back to her own time. She didn't know if she could accept that just yet. She looked to Merlin, her eyes begging him to tell her what to do.

"Tabitha it doesn't look like you're going to get back to your own time, you should make a life for yourself here." Merlin said. "Besides you can do a lot of good here, protecting Camelot. Calling Arthur a prat."

"Yes." Arthur said, before realising what Merlin said. "Wait not the last part."

"Tabitha if you want this, we can make it happen." Gwen said. "You won't always get recognition from the court though, no matter how much you may deserve it."

"Well, I'd get it from the people I care most about." Tabitha said, before looking at Merlin. "It's more than most get, and they're usually the ones that really deserve it."

"Tabitha?" Arthur asked.

"Alright, then. I'll do it." Tabitha said a smile starting to appear on her face.

That's how Tabitha became in most respects of the word, a knight. She got armour much like the armour Morgana used to wear. She wore it most of the time, never having liked dresses. She trained with the knights, and even learned how to ride a horse. After falling off a few times. She had been on only a few patrols and they hadn't been attacked yet. It was better than she thought it would be. Tabitha didn't think it would last but it did. Sometimes the nobles would give her sideways looks on the training field, but nothing came of it.

The servants talked about her, but they quickly came to respect her. As she spoke to them as equals and stood up to the King on their behalf. She also had Merlin and Jane putting in good words for her. Jane had also told her that most of the maids were in love with Merlin and as long as they were friends wouldn't say anything against her, for some reason it comforted her to know Merlin wasn't interested.

Tabitha had been told the knights of the round table, apart from Leon, didn't have servants. Tabitha knew Merlin helped them out from time to time, but with all of them it was getting too much for him. He would never say anything though. He was too good a friend. Tabitha talked to the knights instead about how much Merlin did for them without them even realising, and they seemed ashamed about it. If they were that guilty for a few chores Tabitha didn't know what they would be like when they found out how many times Merlin risked his life for them. In the end they accepted, even though they did a lot of the work themselves, they did need servants.

Merlin and Arthur had gotten into an argument about it. Arthur telling Merlin he shouldn't have done their work for them, it was probably his way of caring for his overworked manservant. Jane said now Arthur made sure Merlin only did his own chores, much to the warlocks annoyance.

Jane was the servant Arthur insisted she have. Jane was around her age with dark hair always tied back out of her eyes. She was the kind of person that always had something to say but didn't for fear of saying something wrong, she even felt that way around Tabitha for a while. Tabitha had felt guilty every time she asked Jane to do chores so didn't often, unknowingly making Jane feel she had done something wrong. Eventually she broke and demanded Tabitha give her something to do. Of course, then she had a panic attack for shouting at a noble. They became friends when Tabitha accepted Jane didn't mind having chores, and Jane managed to stop hyperventilating. Now Jane refused to hear a bad word said about her.

Tabitha still hadn't been here that long, yet she was already beginning to have feelings she didn't understand. Feelings for Merlin. She kept telling herself he was just a friend, but then she began to think about what it would be like if they were actually together. They were together most of the time anyway. Tabitha hadn't said anything about it to him though. The courage to stand up to the King and she wouldn't tell her friend that she liked him. Still the people close to you can hurt you more than swords ever could.

Two weeks after the meeting of the round table Tabitha had gone into the courtyard to find the warlock himself. She had just been talking to Percival, there was a lot more to him than meets the eye Tabitha thought to herself. Then again you could say that about many people in Camelot.

"Merlin." Tabitha called out, he turned around grinning at her.

"Hey Tabitha." Merlin said

"Where are you going?" Tabitha asked. "Why aren't you with Arthur?"

"Because I have a day off." Merlin said proudly, Tabitha's mouth fell open.

"A day off...?" Tabitha asked, Merlin nodded. "... From Arthur?"

"I know, and it only took six months of annoying him." Merlin said.

"You do that anyway. So, what are you going to do with it? Your day off?" Tabitha asked.

Merlin looked around, before taking Tabitha to the side by the stables. "I'm going to see the druids." He said in a hushed voice.

"Why?" Tabitha asked, she was kind of hoping there was some kind of quest she could be part of. After all she had heard so many astounding stories from everyone else.

"I have friends there I haven't seen in a while." Merlin said. It had been a few months since he had last been there, he liked seeing how they were doing. They understood what it was like to have magic.

"Not got a lady friend hidden away there have you?" Tabitha asked. She felt suddenly jealousy at the thought of Merlin with somebody else, She made feeble attempt to convince herself it was just because they were such good friends.

"No." Merlin said. "I just want to find out how they are."

"Oh, can I come?" Tabitha asked, hiding her relief.

"Um, I'm not sure." Merlin said, seeming uncertain. He didn't want Tabitha to come with him, not for the reasons she thought though.

"What? Why?" Tabitha asked. She felt hurt, why didn't he want her there. Had she done something wrong. Or maybe he just didn't trust her enough. How could he not though, he had told her everything about his magic.

"Because, magic is against the law..." Merlin began.

"Really? I had no idea." Tabitha said sarcastically.

"You know what I mean. When Arthur finds out if he takes it the wrong way... I just don't want you to be to involved or to get hurt, not because of me." Merlin said. He hated thinking that Arthur might not accept his magic, and banish him or worse. He wanted to trust his friend more than anything, but what if he just didn't understand.

"Merlin, you're my friend. I'll take the risk. Besides because I know about your magic I want to be there for you, that means you let me into your world every now and then." Tabitha said.

"Alright." Merlin said. "You can come."

"I knew you'd let me." Tabitha said. Merlin smiled and started to go, but Tabitha stopped him. "Oh and Merlin, you do know Arthur would never hurt you right. I've never seen anyone with a friendship as strong as yours."

"Of course I do." Merlin said, Tabitha let him go. Even though she could hear the doubt in his voice.

They made their way through the forest, it was nearing winter so frost covered the ground. The trees had lost most of their leaves. The coldness didn't find it's way to them though, they were talking and laughing. Merlin was secretly glad of the company. Usually he had to go and see the druids alone, with a small sense of guilt he knew he shouldn't have. Like he was betraying his friends in Camelot. He'd been betraying them all his life though, and his kind mattered to.

Tabitha wanted to say something to Merlin so much, about the two of them. But she couldn't. What if he didn't feel the same way? What if she ruined their friendship? She needed him, and he needed her. Even if he didn't know it yet.

Merlin had no idea what Tabitha was thinking, he was ignorant when it came to finding out women were in love with him. Then again Tabitha hid it well. Even if he did see it he wouldn't have known what to do. He cared a lot for Tabitha. He didn't know if he could go through the pain again though, it had almost killed him when Freya died.

Eventually after they had been going for about an hour Merlin stopped. He closed his eyes, and opened his mind. Reaching out trying to make himself heard.

**"Neva I'm here, I'll be with you in a few minutes. I've brought someone with me by the way. I hope you don't mind." **Merlin said with his thoughts.

**"Emrys, don't worry any friend of yours is welcome here. I'll come and get you."** Came a reply in his head, it was a voice he recognised.

"Merlin?" Tabitha said, sounding concerned. "What are you doing?"

"Telling them we're here." Merlin answered opening his eyes.

"We're here?" Tabitha asked. "We're so close to Camelot though."

"They're good at hiding." Merlin answered cryptically, he reminded himself of Kilgharrah. "Come on." He said getting off his horse. Tabitha followed him through the trees, until they saw it. You couldn't see it until you really looked. A shimmering mist covered the air. The other side seemed to be exactly the same as the forest they were in now, but she thought it probably wasn't as it seemed.

"What is it? Some kind of barrier?" Tabitha said. Mystified by the shower of light.

"Something like that, you can only get through if you're looking for the druids. If not there's just something in your mind that tells you to go around it." Merlin said.

"We just have to walk through it then." Tabitha said, Merlin nodded. He took Tabitha's hand and pulled her through, but Tabitha hadn't been expecting it and fell over. Taking Merlin down with her. Merlin hit his head on the forest floor.

"Ow. Sorry." Tabitha said.

"It's alright, the floor hates me anyway... Um Tabitha." Merlin said.

"What?" Tabitha asked.

"Could you get off me?" Merlin asked.

"Yes." Tabitha said blushing, suddenly realising she was on him. "Sorry."

"Emrys." Came a voice above them. They both started, not knowing there was anyone else there. They stood up, Tabitha taking in the women in front of them. She had long dark hair, which was partly hidden by her midnight blue cloak. She seemed to be middle aged, or it could just be the worry lines that told you she had had a difficult life. Her tone had been stern, but the corners of her lips were twitching with amusement.

"Neva, it's good to see you again." Merlin said.

"You too Emrys." Neva said. Tabitha knew that the druids called Merlin Emrys. She prefered Merlin though, and Merlin had told her he did as well.

"How many times must I ask you to call me Merlin?" Asked Merlin.

"Who's this?" Neva asked, ignoring what Merlin said. She looked at Tabitha intently, for a second Tabitha was worried she was trying to read her mind or something.

"I'm Tabitha." Tabitha said nervously.

"Do you have magic Tabitha?" Neva asked.

"Um No. Is that a problem?" Tabitha asked, worried she was going to be told to go away. She wouldn't blame this sorcerer for not wanting her there when her kind was usually hated or feared in Camelot by people without magic.

"It is not, I just wanted to know if Emrys was bringing you here for our guidance as he has done before." Neva said, she turned to Merlin. Tabitha gave a sigh of relief. "Emrys Carson wants you to talk to Matthew."

"Is Matt alright?" Merlin asked, looking worried.

"As you know he is a kind boy with a good heart, he's still having problems though." Neva said with concern. Tabitha was going to ask what they were talking about when Neva carried on. "I'll take you to them." She led them further through the trees. away from the mist. Tabitha realised there was a different atmosphere on this side of the mist, it was as if there was magic on the air. It was a comforting feeling.

Tabitha began to hear voices, it was a while before she realised they were in her head. They came to a clearing. Where there were many tents round a camp fire. Even though it was day it was burning brightly, giving warmth to those sat around it. There were young children running around the forest laughing and shouting. Older children trying to use magic, muttering spells under their breath. Adults were talking to each other and doing chores. People living and working together like they did in most villages.

It all seemed so carefree, as if they were not only an hour away from a Kingdom that wanted them dead. Tabitha felt a rush of protectiveness for these people, people she had not even met.

It didn't take them long to see Merlin was there, many came over to see him. Tabitha saw how good Merlin was with the druids. He seemed to know most of them. He talked to them modestly, and showed the younger children magic. Making a girl of about six run off shouting that she was friends with Emrys. After that a few older looking druids asked how things were in Camelot more seriously, Merlin answered honestly. He said how Arthur didn't know of his magic yet. He also gave them hope though, saying Arthur hadn't executed anyone with magic yet.

When the people had dispersed a man, around their age, with short light brown hair and kind eyes came up to them, Merlin smiled upon seeing him. There was a nervous younger boy behind him, probably his brother they looked so much alike. He was around twelve, maybe a bit older.

"Carson." Merlin said, Tabitha realised this must be the man that Neva was talking about earlier.

"Merlin." Carlson said pulling him into a hug. "It's been to long."

"It's only been a few months." Merlin said.

"You're not the one that has to listen to Matt going on about you every other day." Carson said.

The younger boy blushed. "I don't go on about him." Matt said defensively. "Merlin I don't." Tabitha didn't expect Matt to be so young. She wondered why Carson wanted Merlin to talk to him.

"Don't worry Matt I know." Merlin said. "Matt, Carson this is Tabitha." Merlin said.

"Good to meet you." Carson said warmly, Matt gave a shy smile.

"**Merlin can you talk to Matt, his magic is more powerful. Whenever he's angry or afraid it just comes out, I don't know what to do.**" Carson said with his mind. His face not giving away the concern in his words. Merlin nodded.

"Matt go and get your cloak, it's almost winter." Carson said in a brotherly tone.

"I don't need it, I'm not cold. Stop worrying about me." Matt stubbornly.

"No I never will, now go on." Carson said. Matt looked at Merlin, as if he was worried Merlin was going to leave while he was gone. "Merlin will go with you." Carlson said smiling as Matt's face lit up.

"Come on Matt, Tabitha can you stay with Carson?" Merlin asked, Tabitha nodded.

Merlin and Matt went and sat by the fire, after Matt had gotten his cloak. The other druids carried on talking to each other sensing Matt didn't want to talk in front of everyone. Merlin began to talk to him. Carson looked at them for a moment before turning back to Tabitha.

"So why do you want Merlin to talk to Matt?" Tabitha asked, Carson seemed confused. "Neva told me." Tabitha said.

"Neva? Why do I tell her anything." Carson asked himself. "What did she say about Matt?"

"Not much. Why? What could she of told me?" Tabitha asked.

"I might as well tell you, it's not exactly a secret. Matt, he's powerful. Nowhere near as powerful as Merlin, but much more than us. He uses magic when he doesn't mean to. I wanted Merlin to talk to him because from what I hear he went through the same thing." Carson said.

"He did." Tabitha said, she remembered him telling her about before he could control his magic when he almost dropped a tree on someone. "He seems really sweet and Neva told me he had a good heart."

"He does, takes after our mother. Sometimes he's too kind. Always worried that he's going to accidentally hurt someone, he's even been staying away from his friends. I'm doing my best to convince him magic can be a force for good, I don't want him to be afraid of who he is." Carson said worriedly.

"You're a really good brother." Tabitha said. She felt suddenly sad thinking about her own brother, he used to worry about her all the time. She pushed any thoughts of him to the back of her mind. She didn't want to start crying. "You must care about him a lot."

"He's the only family I've got." Carson said. "Well, that I know of."

"What about your parents?" Tabitha asked, thinking she probably already knew the answer.

"They died." Carson said. "Uther put them to death when Matt was three."

"I'm so sorry." Tabitha said, feeling her hatred against Arthur's father become stronger. She took his hand reassuringly. "You must really hate him."

"You'd think I would, but in the end I just pity him. All that hatred and bitterness." Carson said.

"Did you ever think of trying to hurt Uther, like all those other sorcerers that tried to take over Camelot." Tabitha asked.

"If I didn't I wouldn't be human." Carson said. "What good would it have done though, Uther would never have changed his mind. I'd only of died and Matt needs me. Besides we're persecuted because people think we're evil, hurting Uther would only prove them right. Uther has killed so many innocents he's the evil one."

"I don't know how you do it." Tabitha said, feeling a lot of respect for him.

"The way all druids do willpower and hope." Carson said.

"Hope?" Tabitha asked.

"Hope that someday Emrys and King Arthur will unite the lands of Albion, and bring about the time of magic. We have the prophecies to believe in. That's what keeps many of us peaceful, not all sorcerers have that." Carson said. Tabitha looked into his eyes, before realising she was still holding his hand. Carson pulled away with a guilty expression Tabitha didn't understand on his face.

"Tabitha are you and Merlin...?" Carson began.

"Us? No we're just good friends." Tabitha said quickly. "Really."

"Oh, good. No, I don't mean good." Carson looked flustered, making Tabitha blush. "Sorry what I meant was when you go, will I see you again?"

"Yes, I think you will." Tabitha smiled.

Merlin saw them, he didn't like watching them hold hands. It made him feel uneasy, he didn't know why though. There probably wasn't anything going on, and even if there was it shouldn't bother him.

"Merlin?" Matt's voice broke through Merlin's thoughts.

"Sorry Matt what was I saying?" Merlin asked, not remembering how long he had been in thought.

"How once you dropped a tree on someone." Matt said with a slight smile.

They stayed for a good few hours. But eventually it became night and they had to go back to Camelot, Gaius was expecting them. Tabitha hadn't wanted to go. Earlier, after Merlin had finished talking to Matt, the druids had asked Merlin to use magic. So Merlin made the fire's embers light up the darkening sky. Much like he had a few weeks ago for Tabitha. They had sat together watching it, Matt leaning on Tabitha's shoulder. Carson and Merlin beside them. Tabitha had seen a young girl around Matt's age, with long black hair, looking at him from where she sat. Tabitha had gestured for her to come over, but she had shaken her head blushing. Tabitha smiled to herself, someone had a crush on Matt.

Tabitha thought of it on the way back to Camelot, she wanted to go back soon. To see Carson again, she knew he liked her. At the same time she knew she would never forgive herself if she didn't find out if Merlin felt the same way about her. That was when a half an hour from Camelot she finally found the courage to ask Merlin about it.

"Merlin have you ever been in love since Freya?" Tabitha asked.

"No." Merlin said. He hadn't known what to make of that question, it had come out of nowhere.

"Will you? Ever fall in love again I mean." Tabitha asked. Not sure whether or not she wanted him to see the meaning behind it, but going by the apologetic expression he had.

"I don't think so, Freya was everything to me and I lost her. I don't think I could go through that again. Besides I've got this destiny and I can't let anything get in the way, I just can't." Merlin said almost desperately, wanting Tabitha to understand it wasn't because he didn't care about her. The look on her face made her heart sink.

"Right." Tabitha said. That had hurt more than she thought it would. She tried to keep her face from revealing how she felt to no avail, she felt like a fool for bringing it up. She thought back to Carson, she hardly knew him but he seemed like a good person. "When are we going to see the druids again?"

"If we go by night, when no one will miss us, whenever you want." Merlin said, silently hating himself.

They went to see the druids a lot in the weeks that followed. They got away as much as they could, mostly at night. Tabitha getting closer and closer to Carson, while Merlin tried to look the other way. He didn't want to hate seeing his friends fall in love. Tabitha had asked him, and even Carlson had asked if it was alright. He still couldn't help thinking what would've happened if he'd answered Tabitha's question differently. He couldn't have let anything get in the way of destiny though could he? Not even Tabitha.

What they didn't know when they met up was, either Morgana or Myra were behind the trees. Trying to find out of Morgana's vision was coming true. Morgana had recognised Tabitha when she was with Merlin, they thought that maybe she would be the one to kill Arthur. Either way it was time to hurry destiny up.

**As I said before this isn't one of my better chapters. Don't worry the next ones will be better :) The next one will be sad though. I'll just add again thank you to IndiaMoore and Natcel :) Review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hiya again :) Hands up who saw Merlin last night! It was awesome, I really want Merlin to fall in love again this series :) Just want to give a thank you to The-Bowtie-And-The-Fez for favoriting! I've put a doctor who quote in there for you, see if you can find it. I'd like to say a thank you again to IndiaMoore for reviewing. Also thanks to Khodgi01, Loopylou720, Myth. , Sheila90, VivianeDPulci and Lordstarlight :)**

**I love Merlin more and more every time I watch it, I've just re watched the lady of the lake episode. I cry at it every time. I hope it's not just me :) Please read and review :)**

Merlin sat on the stone steps that lead up to the tower, his head in his hands.

He didn't know how he let this happen. He had feelings for his closest friend, who just happened to be in love with another friend. He had to keep telling himself that destiny was more important than anything, but how much more would he have to give up for destiny?

Merlin had broken yesterday. Carson had told Merlin he was in love with Tabitha, even asked how he should tell her. It hurt. He shouldn't have taken it out on Carson, it wasn't like he had any idea how Merlin felt about her. They had an argument. He couldn't even remember what was said, all he knew was that what he said to Carson was unfair. What he said back wasn't though. Merlin had his chance and he broke her heart, even if they weren't together he wouldn't tell her how he felt.

He just didn't know what to do any more. He couldn't be with Tabitha, but at the same time he didn't want her to be with anyone else. He told himself he was just being selfish.

"Merlin?" Came a voice from above him, It was Arthur and if Merlin didn't know any better he'd say he seemed worried. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing." Merlin said quietly.

"It doesn't seem like nothing." Arthur said. Merlin didn't say anything, Arthur sighed and went to sit next to him. "You can tell me you know."

"No I can't." Merlin said in frustration. "You're the King, and I'm just a servant. Besides we're not friends you say that often enough."

"Merlin, I haven't said that in years and even when I did I didn't mean it. You know that. You know me better than myself most of the time. Just because I don't say it doesn't mean you're not my friend. Because you are, hell you're my best friend. Now, just tell me what's going on. Please... Is someone threatening you?" Arthur asked. Feeling a surge of protectiveness for his manservant. Merlin felt touched, Arthur had said he was his friend. No his best friend. If only he could tell him what was going on.

"No. Arthur, I'm sorry. I just can't tell you I want to, really I do. But..." Merlin began apologetically.

"You don't trust me." Arthur said.

"No. No Arthur it's not that." Merlin said pleadingly.

"Then what?" Arthur demanded. "Why won't you tell me?" Merlin didn't know what to say, then he realised he didn't have to mention the druids. Or even Tabitha for that matter.

"Alright I'll tell you. There's this women I have feelings for, and I don't know what to do. She asked me a while ago about us maybe being together and I said no. It was because of things I have no control over and I hate it. So she met someone else and now she's falling in love with someone who happens to be my friend too. Well, I'm not really sure if we are friends any more. Even if she wasn't with him we can't be together. So there's no point in saying all this really because there's no way I can stop feeling like this." Merlin finished, it actually had felt good to get it out.

Arthur was still worried though. He hated seeing Merlin this way, he wasn't meant to be depressed. It was Merlin. He was still hurt Merlin wouldn't come to him about it, he was jealous for a second that Merlin might have talked to Gwaine or Tabitha instead.

"Merlin who is she." Arthur asked. Merlin didn't know what to say to that, he began to speak when Gwaine came along.

"Princess you're needed in the throne room, there's a woman there that needs to speak with you." Gwaine said. Arthur looked at Merlin in concern, he didn't want to leave him on his own. It was like Merlin could read his mind though.

"I'll come with you." Merlin said.

"Won't you fall asleep?" Arthur asked.

"It depends, will you be talking?" Merlin asked. Arthur just laughed, relieved Merlin seemed a bit happier for having talked about it. He started to head off to the throne room. Merlin made to follow him before Gwaine stopped him.

"Merlin, Arthur said in training he tried to find you yesterday. He seemed to think you were at the tavern." Gwaine said.

"Well, you know me." Merlin said nervously.

"It's just I was at the tavern most of the day, and I didn't see you there. So where were you?" Gwaine asked.

"Um... I..." Merlin said desperately trying to think of where he could have been. Usually he knew his lies before hand, because at the end of the day he really was a terrible liar.

"Merlin it's alright. You don't have to tell me, but remember I'm here if you ever need to talk alright." Gwaine said.

"I'll keep that in mind." Merlin said, thinking about what Gwaine meant by that. He couldn't know could he? No, he would have said something. They began to towards the throne room. "Oh, by the way what did the woman want to talk to Arthur about?"

"Her village was attacked by a druid camp near Camelot." Gwaine said. Merlin heart stopped, it couldn't be Neva's camp. They wouldn't hurt anyone, but then again neither would any of the other druids. They were peaceful. This women had to by lying. If it came to it though, who would Arthur believe? It wouldn't be the sorcerers. What would he do then? Merlin's mind was still working frantically as they went into the throne room.

The meeting had already started. Gwaine went to stand with the other knights and Merlin with Gaius, he could see Tabitha stood at the back. She usually got into the council meetings. Merlin knew she had no idea about what was coming from the smile she gave him, Merlin wanted to warn her in some way but didn't know how.

"What was it you wanted to ask me." Arthur asked, his tone gentle and concerned. Merlin only just took in the women standing before the King. She was around their age. She had the clothes of a servant, that were worn out and torn. She had a shoddy cloak that was covered in mud at the bottom as if she had been running through a forest. Her hair really caught your eye though. It was a flaming red, and was also a mess.

"Mi lord." She said curtseying. "I have come from just outside the forest of Embers. My village, it has been attacked by sorcerers. Druids from the forest. They came out of nowhere. They took everything we have, many of the men died trying to stop them. We were no match for the evil of magic." She seemed distraught by the time she had finished. Merlin and Tabitha exchanged a look with Tabitha, who's eyes were wide.

Arthur was very concerned, since his father died he hadn't put any sorcerers to death. He still had nightmares from when he had attacked that druid camp. He thought the druids where peaceful. It had always made him think what if magic isn't evil? Every time he had thought that in the past though he had been proved wrong, this must be another of those times.

"I am sorry for your grievances, I shall make sure you do not starve." Arthur said reassuringly.

"Mi lord, I thank you for your kindness. That is not the real reason I came to Camelot though. I came to warn you. I overheard a druid say they were planning to attack Camelot, and soon. I urge you Mi lord, stop them before they become to strong for even the might of Camelot. The evil of magic will not rest until it has destroyed all the good there is in this world." The woman said desperately.

For years Merlin had had to listen to people going on about the evil of magic. After all this time it still hurt to hear someone talk about magic like that, he had learned to hide it though. Something Tabitha hadn't learned. She was red in the face with anger and indignation, seeming like she wanted nothing more than to say something. She restrained herself, but only just.

At least Merlin knew the woman was lying now. From the beginning there had been something about her. She seemed upset, but it was like she was laughing at them with her eyes. Like Morgana did when she was still in Camelot as Uthers ward. Of course only Merlin and Tabitha were looking for that. Merlin knew the druids wouldn't attack a village, let alone Camelot. Why would this woman lie about it though?

Arthur couldn't see any of this though, all he saw was a threat to his Kingdom. He only knew he wouldn't let Camelot fall to magic. Not while he was alive. He couldn't take the risk, he had to stop these druids.

"I want all the knights I can spare ready to ride out to the forest of Embers." Arthur ordered. "We will strike before nightfall."

The knights left the throne room to go to the courtyard, Tabitha and Merlin found each other just outside.

"We can't let them do this, those druids wouldn't hurt anyone." Tabitha said desperately.

"I know." Merlin said.

"Wait... They won't be able to find the druids will they? The mist?" Tabitha said hopefully.

"They're trying to find the druids, they'll get through." Merlin said.

"Then what do we do?" Tabitha asked in panic.

"I'll try and get a message to them, we just have to hope it gets there before we do." Merlin said, Tabitha nodded.

"We should go, We don't want to be left behind." Tabitha said.

They went down to the courtyard, and got on their horses with the others. Tabitha breathing faster than usual and her hands shaking slightly. The knights that weren't part of the round table had learnt not to ask why Tabitha was there.

They made their way through the forest. Merlin had sent the message to the druids with his mind and hadn't heard back. It didn't take long for the Knights and Arthur to notice that there was something wrong with Merlin and Tabitha. They hardly said anything, and kept giving each other nervous looks the closer they got to the druids. Gwaine asked Merlin if he was alright and he said he was. So Gwaine knew it was time to start worrying about his friend.

They were almost there and eventually they came to the mist. The knights spent a while staring at it in awe. Merlin and Tabitha knew that the shower of light was all there was between them and the druids now, they started to breathe faster. They passed through the amber mist and Merlin could hear them. The druids, like a hundred voices in his head. They had only just gotten his message, there was no time now though.

Tabitha and Merlin tried to make excuses, reasons they should go back. None of which Arthur listened to. When they could all actually hear the druids and see them through the trees Arthur stopped them. For a second Merlin hoped that he would call off the attack, he didn't though.

"Listen to me." Arthur ordered. "I don't want women or children to be harmed, anyone that disobeys that order will be punished. Understand?" Everyone nodded. Tabitha's heart beat faster and when Arthur finally shouted.

"Attack!" She could barely breathe.

She followed the knights to see druids running in all directions, people she had come to know. Mothers were holding onto their children. Men were protecting their wives. Fear on everyone's faces.

Tabitha stood there, not exactly sure which side she was fighting for. She had a strong sense of loyalty to both sides. Merlin seemed to be having the same problem.

Tabitha looked around trying to see Carson, or Matt. There were so many people though and she couldn't make them out.

She noticed, while standing there in confusion, none of the druids were using magic. a few had found swords and were defending themselves with them , but only defending. If these people weren't peaceful she didn't know who were. Why couldn't Arthur see that?

Then something happened to bring Tabitha back to reality. She suddenly saw a knight about to bring his sword down on a middle aged man, Tabitha recognised him as the father of one of Matt's friends. He, as the other druids were, was making no attempt to stop the attack with magic. Probably out of fear that they may harm their attacker.

Tabitha forced herself forward, putting her sword between the druid and the knight. There was the clang of metal that could be heard around them. She looked up to meet the knights eyes and saw Gwaine's. Something like realisation went through them, and he lowered his sword stepping back from them.

Arthur had no idea that Tabitha was helping the druids. He saw the druids weren't fighting back though. Why weren't they? They were sorcerers, they didn't care about anyone but themselves. Why weren't they fighting back then? All this made him remember the last time he attacked a druid camp. It was all too familiar. The screaming, the fear. The knights were true to their word though, as no women or children were being harmed. He did see a few fallen men though, making guilt surge through him. He was about to call off the attack. But then, having been lost in thought, he lost grip of his sword which had been swinging through the air.

Tabitha looked up from Gwaine at that point and saw Arthur. She blinked, closing her eyes. When she opened them it was as if everything went into slow motion. All she could hear was the thud of her heartbeat. And although it couldn't have been much more than a few seconds, it felt like hours

Tabitha saw the sword leave Arthur's hand and go through the air. The blade glinting in the sunlight as it went towards, someone she knew well. Matt couldn't even see the sword, he had his back to it. She didn't know if Arthur meant to throw the sword or not, but that didn't matter any more. Tabitha tried to cry out, get him to turn around. He didn't though. He couldn't even hear her over the battle.

She looked for Merlin, she found him. He didn't know any of this was going on. Tabitha wished she didn't know this was going on.

Tabitha just wanted it to stop. To get in the way, anything. She didn't though. She just stood there in fear. What if she didn't get there in time? What if she let down the boy she'd come to think of as a brother? In the back of her mind though, she knew she was already letting him down. By not even trying.

All she could do was close her eyes, and when she did the hours became what they really were. Just a few seconds. When she opened them she heard the battle, the clanging of metal. Time had returned to normal. The battle was just as it was before.

Matt had turned just in time to see the sword. He couldn't take it in, let alone get out of the way. It would all have all been over... If Carson hadn't gotten in the way. He gave a cry of pain. Matt could barely keep him up, his eyes going from fear to anger. He let out a cry much like Merlin had when Balinor died. Letting out as much power as he could, Arthur and the knights were thrown against trees and knocked unconscious. Until only the druids, Merlin and Tabitha were left standing. Merlin had never felt so much magic surge past him.

Matt, having used all his strength, fell to the forest floor. leaning Carson against a tree as best he could. Tears fell from his eyes. There was red seeping through Carson's clothes. Merlin and Tabitha were by his side in seconds, Tabitha grabbing his hand and holding it tight.

"C-Carson... Carson can you hear me?" Tabitha asked desperately, her voice breaking. She had only just made it to him, having felt like she was going to collapse back there. It was like her heart stopped.

"Tabitha?" Carson said weakly. Tabitha's heart started again, he was still with her. She knew she wouldn't let him go.

"Carson, Carson I'm here." Tabitha said, her voice frantic.

"Where's Matt?" Carson asked.

"I'm here too, I'm alright. I'm s-so sorry. This is all my fault. If I'd have gotten out of the way..." Matt sobbed.

"Matt." Carson's voice wasn't very loud, but Matt fell silent straight away. "Don't be. I don't regret it, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened to you... Tabitha I-"

"Don't." Tabitha almost screamed. "I know what happens now, don't you even try to say goodbye to me. Don't you dare you're not going to die. I won't let that happen. There must be something we can do Merlin, your Emrys."

"Tabitha..." Merlin began, his eyes wet with tears. He could see the desperation in her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No. Don't say that. Save him please there must be something you can do." Tabitha begged.

"Please." Matt said, in a small voice. He had his arms around his knees and was shaking.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Merlin said, tears now falling.

"No don't, please don't say sorry just don't. I won't give up on him alright. I won't." Tabitha yelled. "Just do something, save him that's what you do in Camelot you save people."

"Not everyone." Merlin said, almost pleadingly.

"Then what's the point of you." She screamed, her eyes swimming with tears of pain. Merlin knew how much she was hurting, but those words still hurt him deeply. Maybe she was right. What was the point of him if he couldn't even protect his friends.

"It's not his fault Tabitha." Carson said, his voice getting weaker. "I'm too far gone."

"You can't be." Tabitha sobbed. "We still need that life we wanted, when magic is free."

"You'll have it." Carson said before looking to Merlin. "Just not with me. Look after them Merlin."

"You know I will." Merlin said reassuringly.

"Can I get this out of me?" Carson asked, looking at the sword still embedded in his chest. Merlin nodded sadly and Tabitha pulled it out throwing it as far away from them as possible. Carson breathed a short lived sigh of relief, you could see him fading. "Don't hate him, please don't let this change you." Carson said, before his eyes closed and he let out his last breath.

"Carson... Carson. No." Tabitha started shouting again. Merlin put his arms around her. She tried to push him away, hitting him. He held onto her though. She didn't have the strength to fight any more and just held on to him like she never wanted to let go.

She had never felt pain like this, it hurt more than anything. More than swords ever could. She had loved Carson, no she did love Carson. Nothing would change that not even death. It was so unfair. He had so much of his life ahead of him, and now it was just gone. And why? Tabitha felt like screaming. It was because of Arthur, Carson was dead and it was his fault. All his fault. Tabitha felt so much rage inside her threatening to come to the surface.

Over Merlin's shoulder Tabitha could see the druids that were still alive, all stood around the trees. She had forgotten they were there. Neva came closer to them. She, as all druids did, had many charms of the old religion around her neck. She lifted one up and kissed it, before holding it up into the sky. All the other druids soon did the same. Not saying anything, just holding it to the sky as some kind of mark of respect. Tabitha just clung tighter to Merlin.

She didn't know how they did it. Stayed peaceful when they had lost so much, how they felt pity instead of hatred for the people that wanted them and everyone they cared about dead. She thought she understood why all those sorcerers attacked Camelot, but she didn't. Until you lose someone you love because of a Pendragon you can't even pretend to understand. They were ruining lives and had no idea.

Tabitha then remembered Matt was behind her, she felt guilty even through everything else that was tearing her apart. She hadn't even tried to stay strong for him.

She turned to see him, just in time to see hatred fill his eyes through his tears. He was looking at the sword covered in blood not far from him. He pushed himself up taking the sword and going, with determination on his face, to where Arthur lay. The other druids saw what was going on, but made no attempt to stop him. They lived closely together so all of them had suffered a loss. He held the sword over him about to bring it down, but then stopped.

Merlin tried to get up, but Tabitha got in his way.

"Tabitha" Merlin said. "We have to stop him."

"No we don't." Tabitha said. Merlin suddenly felt so afraid, he didn't want lose Tabitha. Not like he did Morgana. He couldn't let this happen again to someone he cared about, he wouldn't.

"Tabitha please." Merlin said pleadingly, begging her with his eyes.

"We don't because he's not going to hurt him." Tabitha said taking a deep breath, holding back her tears for a while. She got up and went closer to Matt. "Matt the last thing Carson said to us was don't let this change you. Don't let it. You are good person, you know that and if you do this you will hate yourself. It will make you worse than him."

Matt shook his head, the sword was shaking in his hands. "I can't let him get away with this, my brother is dead. He was the only family I had. Now I have no one." Matt said. Tabitha could see out of the corner of her eye the druid girl with long black hair and a druid boy shake their heads at the last part.

"You don't have no one. I know it doesn't mean much, but you've got me. I'll always be there for you." Tabitha said her voice strong, until with her next words she broke into sobs again. "Please Matt. I've just lost your brother I don't want to lose you too."

Matt looked back at her before he let out a heartbreaking cry, and brought down the sword. It sank into the ground by Arthur's head. Merlin breathed a sigh of relief. Tabitha pulled Matt into a fierce hug, which he returned clinging onto her. Tabitha looked at Arthur over Matt's shoulder and felt the same surge of anger, she pushed it down though.

They left the knights and Arthur there, knowing in a few hours they would wake. They moved on to give the fallen druids a proper burial. Neither Matt nor Tabitha said another word during it, they just held each others hands tight. Tabitha also held Merlin close to her, she really needed him.

When it was over Merlin and Tabitha agreed to staying with the druids that night and going back to Camelot in the morning. Merlin lit a roaring fire to warm up the cold night. Most of the druids were sat around it with their loved ones. A few were crying, including Matt. The girl from earlier, had her arm around him. The druid boy was talking to him, his father being the man Tabitha saved earlier. Merlin saw that Tabitha wasn't there, she was sat not too far away at the edge of the trees. She was hugging her knees like she always did when she was upset. Tear tracks running down her face. Merlin went over to her.

"Tabitha, I know it doesn't make any difference but I am so sorry." Merlin said.

"Merlin." Tabitha said, before a guilty look came over her face. "I should be the one to say sorry. Those things I said to you, they were unforgivable."

"You were hurting, it's alright." Merlin said understandingly.

"No, it's not alright. I know if anything could have been done you'd do it." Tabitha said, before looking out into the night. "I miss him so much."

"I'll always be there for you, you know that." Merlin said. "Do you hate Arthur?"

"I don't know. I don't think Arthur meant to throw that sword, but still. I don't know if I can see him again without remembering, and all of it coming back. Even now when I think of him it... I feel so angry. How do you do it Merlin?" Tabitha asked, and Merlin sighed.

"Arthur only killed Freya because all he saw was a creature, he did it to protect people. I forgave him as soon as it happened... Do you think you'll ever forgive him?" Merlin said.

"I think I will forgive him, it just might take me a bit longer than you.." Tabitha said, Merlin nodded. "Am I evil?"

"How can you even ask that?" Merlin said, the question coming out of nowhere.

"I thought about letting Matt do it, kill Arthur. It was like I really understood why Morgana did all those things. I was just so full of hate and I wanted Arthur to feel the pain I was feeling. Am I like her?"Tabitha asked.

"Tabitha you are nothing like her. You didn't let Matt hurt Arthur. You didn't let the hate get in the way of doing what is right, that's the difference between you." Merlin said.

"Thanks Merlin." Tabitha breathed. "I needed that." She leant against Merlin and he put his arm around her. She really did need him right now, as a friend.

Morgana sat around the fire, in the woods just outside Camelot. There was a crack behind her and she stiffened. "How long have you been there?" Morgana asked the air.

"Not long." Came a reply from behind her, Myra came and sat on the other side of the fire. Her bright red hair flickering.

"Did everything go as plan?" Morgana asked coldly.

"The foolish King of Camelot believed what I told him, he attacked the druids. He killed a man that may be the one you saw in your vision, he did die in the same way. There was a girl like the one you told me about who cried over his body." Myra said.

"Oh what a shame." Morgana said a smile playing on her lips. "What of Arthur?"

"When the man was killed a druid boy let out a burst of magic, leaving the knights and Arthur unconscious. I thought he would be the one to kill him, but then the women stopped him. In the end they left knowing Arthur would wake up eventually." Myra finished.

"So if sir Gwaine and my dear brother were unconscious then only part of my vision came to pass. More is to come, including the Kings death." Morgana said with an evil smirk on her face. "But why did you not just kill him yourself when they left?"

"I followed the others instead, it was more important." Myra said.

"More important than the death of my brother and the fall of Camelot?" Morgana said angrily.

"Yes Morgana." Myra smiled. "For I know the identity of Emrys."

**I know, sadness overload. Don't worry it will be balanced out with bromance in the chapters to come. This is a reveal fic so Arthur will find out eventually. I've got a good idea how, but I'm still not sure if I'm going to make Merlin and Tabitha fall in love yet. I will review as soon as possible, I think I've been fairly quick so far. Review please :) :) :) **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hiya, me again. This week I've been looking for inspiration. I want to write some one-shots, and have ideas but don't know how to write them:) I want to say thank you to Starkid191 for reviewing and favoriting! I love a very potter musical:) Also thank you to IndiaMoore and The-Bowtie-And-The-Fez for reviewing. The-Bowtie-And-The-Fez I was really glad you liked it, I wasn't sure if I'd made it too sad or not sad enough. You did get the quote right, I just didn't see that quote. There was also. "Then what is the point of you." Amy shouts it at the doctor when Rory dies in the dream world and he says he can't save him. That episode always makes me cry, as well as the one with the stone angels:( Anyway on with the story :)**

**I was listening to safe and sound and eyes open by Taylor swift the whole time I wrote this :) There is more Gwaine in this chapter, which can only be a good thing :) Read and review:)**

Dawn came eventually, it always does. That morning was crisp, making leaves crackle with a layer of frost and you could see your breath in front of your face. Arthur woke up to a dim light, his eyes adjusted so that he could make out faces in front of him. It was early. The sun was only just in the sky, and you could still see the moon.

"He's waking up. Arthur? Arthur can you hear me?" Elyion asked.

"Yes." Arthur groaned, his head hurt. Probably from a concussion. Arthur tried, but couldn't remember how he got it. "What happened?"

"None of us really know." Elyion said.

"We only woke up an hour ago, and we can't remember what happened just before we were knocked unconscious." Leon said. Arthur tried to remember again, closing his eyes with effort. All there was was darkness, before earlier memories started to come back to him. Memories of a woman coming to him about the druids, of him getting the knights to attack. Arthur gasped. The memories hadn't come easily to him.

"We were attacking the druids, where are they? How many knights are dead?" Arthur said, holding his head.

"No one knows where the druids went." Leon said, looking at his King in concern.

"And as for deaths, there weren't any." Elyion said. As he said it more came back to Arthur. He remembered the druids weren't using magic, even to defend themselves. He remembered the guilt that tore through him when he saw the fallen men.

"No deaths from on our side." Arthur said guiltily.

"No." Percival said, he said it sadly though. Almost as if he felt the same as Arthur.

"Everyone's unconscious, but other than that they seem alright." Leon said.

"If we weren't awake why didn't they kill us?" Arthur asked, talking more to himself than to anyone else.

What if they weren't evil? What if they were good? Arthur was almost sure that they were now, which made him feel even worse. It didn't make any sense. Magic was evil wasn't it? It's what he'd been told throughout his life, and whenever he thought otherwise he was always proved wrong. He used to think the druids were peaceful, even his father thought that they were. Arthur hadn't thought about what it meant until now. If some magic was good, then magic itself couldn't be evil could it? Arthur didn't know what to think any more.

"I can't say sire." Leon said.

"Who else is awake?" Arthur asked, trying to distract himself from his thoughts.

"Just us and Gwaine, but the others are starting to come around." As Elyion said it Gwaine came over to them through the trees, worry all over his face.

"He's not here." Gwaine said.

"Who?" Arthur asked.

"Merlin, that's who." Gwaine said frustratedly.

"What?" Arthur asked. He hadn't thought about Merlin yet, let alone thought something might have happened to him. Merlin was just always there. Through everything. Arthur's heart began to beat quicker.

"I've looked everywhere, he's not here. Or Tabitha." Gwaine said. Arthur tried to get up. He knew they weren't here, but wanted to see for himself. Leon pushed him back down.

"Sire you should rest." Leon said.

"I will rest when I've found them." Arthur said pushing himself up, even though it made his head start to hurt again. He was worried about Tabitha as well as Merlin, but knew that she could look after herself. He had watched her closely in training. She was good with a sword and thought logically, Merlin on the other hand couldn't even hold a sword and was an idiot. Even if he did have moments of wisdom every now and then.

"I'm going too." Gwaine said determinedly.

"None of you should go, we should get back to Camelot." Leon said.

"What and just leave them behind?" Gwaine asked in outrage. Arthur felt angry, how could they even thinking about leaving them behind. They were supposed to be their friends. Merlin was like a brother to them, and they cared about Tabitha as they did for each other. She was an honorary knight of the round table after all. Neither of them would leave them if it was the other way around.

"You can go back if you want but we're not." Arthur said angrily.

"Don't go saying that like you're the only people here that care about them." Percival said firmly. Arthur and Gwaine stopped, even Leon and Elyion seemed taken aback. Percival had always been the most respectful knight, he had never spoken to Arthur like that. Giving him an order. "We should get back to Camelot, because they might have gone back there. If they haven't then we can send out search parties. You staying here won't help either of them."

"Percival's right." Elyion said eventually.

"We'll set off for Camelot. Leon you stay with the other knights and wait for them to wake." Arthur said, after a moments thought. Leon nodded and the other knights began to make their way through the trees. Apart from Gwaine he stayed there for a second looking unsure. "Gwaine?"

"If they're not there, we come back for them." Gwaine said. Arthur nodded, and they both made their way back towards the mist. Arthur not knowing how much he had hurt another of his friends. Yet still feeling the guilt and regret of what happened that day.

Tabitha lay on the forest floor, she could see her breath in front of her. She hadn't got any sleep that night, it wasn't because of the numbing cold though. She had spent the hours trying to think of anything except what had happened. She didn't want to remember, if she did she thought she might start crying again. It had taken her long enough to stop.

She hadn't even noticed the sun come up, not until she felt Merlin grab her shoulder.

"Tabitha. Wake up." Merlin said gently. "Come one we've got to go soon."

"I'm awake." Tabitha said, slowly sitting up.

"I'm sorry, but we've got to get back to Camelot soon. Before anyone misses us." Merlin said. Tabitha just nodded.

She said a long goodbye to Matt, promising to come and see him again. Merlin gave them both a piece of parchment that he enchanted so that they could write to each other. He also spoke to Neva before they left, she told him that she would make sure Matt was taken care of.

Eventually they were on their way back to Camelot Tabitha didn't say much to Merlin, she hadn't said much at all that day. Merlin didn't mind. He understood what she was going through, and Tabitha knew this. It made her feel better just knowing he was there.

When they did get back to Camelot, Merlin went to see if Arthur was back. He had put a protective enchantment over Arthur and the others before he left, but he still wanted to make sure they'd got back. He asked Tabitha to go and see Gaius. Not wanting her to be on her own.

Tabitha made her way to Gaius's chambers. She knew Gaius would want to know what happened, she didn't want to have to tell him. She was trying not to remember it. She was worried if she did it would all come back to her.

"Tabitha there you are." Came a voice from behind her. Tabitha stopped, and turned to look at Arthur. Gwaine was stood beside him. As soon as she saw Arthur's face she felt her breathing get faster. "Is Merlin with you?"

Suddenly her mind went back to the day before, reality fading. Memories flashing past her. She remembered the sword going through the air. She remembered Matt turning to see it, her heart thudding. She felt the same pain in her chest when Carson fell to the floor. She remembered screaming at Merlin. Carson holding her hand. Merlin promising to look after them. Carson's eyes closing again. His hand letting go of hers.

Her fears took over her mind, meaning she couldn't stop them. It hurt more than she remembered. She had tried to force all the memories of him to the back of her mind, and seeing Arthur meant all of it came back to her. It was probably going to happen eventually. That didn't make it any easier though.

Tabitha didn't even feel herself fall against the wall or hear Arthur and Gwaine calling her name.

Merlin came down the corridor, he had been to see Gwen. She had been really worried about him, Arthur having told her that they couldn't find Merlin or Tabitha. He was relieved they were back. Merlin had wanted to stay with Gwen, as she seemed quite upset, but felt he had to find Tabitha again. He didn't want her to have to tell Gaius what happened on her own.

On the way there he heard Arthur and Gwaine's voices. He went towards them. Hoping that for once that there wouldn't be an evil sorcerer trying to kill them. He turned the corner to see them stood around someone, looking worried.

"Tabitha wake up." Arthur anxiously. Tabitha, Merlin thought. He was by them in seconds, he pushed Arthur out of the way and dropped to be beside her. Tabitha's eyes were unfocused, and she didn't seem to be able to hear any of them.

"Tabitha, Tabitha can you hear me?" Merlin asked, before looking at Arthur angrily. "What the hell happened?"

"I-I don't know. I just came along and she... She didn't say anything for a while. Then she fell over. I don't know, she won't wake up." Arthur said, he didn't know what to do. Arthur was also a bit afraid of Merlin, he had never seen him so angry at him.

"We don't know what happened to her." Gwaine said he was also really anxious.

"Tabitha, Tabitha look at me." Merlin said. Tabitha seemed to look right through him, but his words must have got through to her because she focused on him for a second.

"I can't see it not again, please Merlin." Tabitha said quietly.

"See what again?" Merlin asked.

"See him die again, hear the last thing he said to me." Tabitha said, tears swimming in her eyes. They became unfocused again.

"Tabitha." Merlin said urgently, trying to keep her in reality. She looked like she was trying to hold onto it, focusing on what was around her. Her eyes found Arthur and went wide with fear.

"Him, he's here." Tabitha said, Arthur looked afraid too. He hadn't seen that look on someone's face since his father had last accused someone of magic, he had hoped that he would never see it again. Now someone was looking at him with the same kind of fear. "Merlin, I-I can't. Get him away from me, please." It looked like Arthur's heart was breaking with every word she said, he backed up but didn't leave.

"Arthur get out of here." Merlin said, angrily. Arthur didn't try to move, he couldn't. Gwaine pushed him backwards roughly. Getting him out of Tabitha's sight. Merlin turned back to Tabitha.

"Tabitha he's gone now, it's alright." Merlin said gently.

"I can still see it." Tabitha said desperately. Merlin had never seen her like this, even when he died she showed and anger and rage. Anything would be better than this.

"You've got to listen to me Tabitha. It's over. It's just a memory." Merlin said.

"It's like it tears me apart every time I see it. It hurts Merlin make it stop." Tabitha said, she grabbed Merlin's jacket holding him close to her. Merlin honestly knew how she felt. He didn't know what to tell her though. When Freya died it was like he was surrounded by darkness, and there was no way out. Even though he forgave Arthur straight away it still almost destroyed him. In the end Merlin decide to tell her the truth.

"I know it hurts, and I'm sorry but it will for a long time. I know how it feels. I know you think it will never get better, but it will. You've just got to get through this. Tabitha you can stop this." Merlin said.

"I can't." Tabitha said her voice breaking and tears falling from her eyes. "I can't stop remembering." Merlin thought for a moment, before muttering a few words under his breath. His eyes flashed gold. He felt the purest magic he had ever used go through him.

Tabitha didn't see any of this. She was going between her memories and reality. Her memories were still going through her head, she wanted to cry. To scream for it to stop. She could only just hear Merlin through them, enough for her to try and say something back. She wasn't sure how much sense she made though.

Memories flashed past her again. The sword going through the air. Matt turning to see it, her heart thudding. The pain in her chest when Carson fell to the floor. Screaming at Merlin. Carson holding her hand. Merlin promising to look after them. Carson's eyes closing again, his hand letting go of hers.

She felt tears going down her cheeks, then she heard Merlin again. He was muttering something. As he did she felt a spread of warmth go through her, a kind of magic that reminded her of the dragon made of embers that Merlin had showed her on her first night here. She felt the memories in front of her eyes begin to change, other memories getting in the way.

She saw herself and Carson going to a lake together, he splashed her so she pushed him in. They both ended up swimming in the azure waters, and even though they ended up soaked she couldn't stop smiling at the look on his face when he fell into the water. Another memory of them all going into the forest, Tabitha climbed a tree when Carson said she couldn't. She fell and, even though Merlin slowed time, she still fell into them making them fall over. All of them ended up in fits. More memories went past quicker this time. Carson holding her hand when they were talking. Him kissing her for the first time. His laugh, and him hugging her when they had to say goodbye. All the fear she felt before was gone, and instead she felt something near happiness.

Finally she blinked, and when she opened her eyes she saw nothing but Merlin looking back at her. Her mind clear. Tabitha felt exhausted, she had felt so much. The sleepless night catching up with her. She finally let the darkness take her, feeling safe in Merlin's arms.

Merlin felt her fall against him, he stayed there for a second. Then when he was sure she was in a deep enough sleep, he picked her up. Holding her close to him and making his way to her chambers.

He laid her on the bed, pulling the covers over her. she sighed to herself in her sleep. Merlin gave a sad smile. He then went to Gaius's chamber, where Gaius was with Gwaine.

"Merlin is Tabitha alright? Gwaine told me what happened." Gaius said, he seemed concerned.

"She's sleeping in her chambers, can you go and see her?" Merlin asked. Gaius nodded, leaving them. Merlin turned to Gwaine, not knowing what to say to him.

"Merlin, what happened with Tabitha? I've never seen her like that before." Gwaine said. "Arthur's really worried, he's with Gwen at the moment. He thinks you hate him. He thinks Tabitha hates him."

"Why would he think I hate him?" Merlin asked, a confused look on his face.

"Well, to be honest I've never seen you that angry at him. It seemed like you thought he had something to do with what happened to Tabitha." Gwaine said.

"No." Merlin said. "I just saw she didn't want Arthur near her so I wanted him to go."

"Why didn't she want him there though? I mean Tabitha's never been afraid to stand up to Arthur, and the way she was looking at him. I've never seen her so afraid." Gwaine said, Merlin didn't say anything. "Merlin she's my friend too, and I'm asking you what happened back there."

"She wasn't feeling well." Merlin said. Hoping against hope that Gwaine would just accept the feeble attempt at a lie, as he always had in the past even though he saw through it every time.

"Merlin I can't do this any more." Gwaine said frustratedly.

"Can't do what?" Merlin asked, nervously.

"Keep pretending like I don't know you're hiding something." Gwaine said.

"I'm not..." Merlin began.

"Don't give me that Merlin. You have a secret, and Tabitha knows it. You're always talking in hushed voices and giving each other these looks. Why weren't you two there when we woke up this morning? It's been going on long before she came though. There are times when no one knows where you are. Where are you?" Gwaine asked almost angrily. Merlin thought for a moment.

"I-I don't know what to say." Merlin said.

"Merlin you don't have to say it back, but you're my best friend. I want to be there for you. Just tell me what's going on, please." Gwaine said all the anger leaving his voice, instead it was like he was pleading. Merlin wanted to tell him more than he could say, but he had never actually told anyone he had magic. He wouldn't know where to begin, and what if Gwaine thought he was evil? What if he hated him? Merlin didn't know if he could bear that.

"I'm sorry, I can't" Merlin said weakly.

"I get it." Gwaine said sighing. "You don't trust me" He began to walk off, Merlin felt so guilty. It was all too much. He hated all the lies and the secrets, he just wanted his friends to see him for who he really was. He did trust Gwaine, he really did. Almost without thinking Merlin muttered a few words under his breath, and a candle flickered into life just in front of Gwaine. He stopped, turning just in time to see Merlin's eyes go from molten gold to his usual piercing blue. Gwaine's eyes widened.

"I knew it." He breathed.

"You won't tell Arthur?" Merlin asked fearfully.

"No, of course not." Gwaine said, before breaking into a smile. "This is what I couldn't remember."

"What?" Merlin asked.

"Yesterday, I realised it when Tabitha stopped me from..." Gwaine stopped, it was his turn to feel guilty.

"When what?" Merlin asked, looking confused.

"When she stopped me from killing a druid." Gwaine said regretfully. "Merlin, I'm so sorry. If I had known you were a sorcerer I would never have..."

"... Don't worry." Merlin interrupted. "I don't blame you for it."

"So Tabitha knows too then." Gwaine said.

"Yes, and Gaius does." Merlin said.

"How long have you been a sorcerer?" Gwaine asked.

"I'm not a sorcerer." Merlin said quickly. "I'm a warlock. A warlock is someone that's born with magic."

"You were born with magic?" Gwaine asked incredulously. "So people can't help having magic?"

"Not always." Merlin said sadly, he couldn't help but think what would have happened if Morgana had never had magic. Maybe she wouldn't have become evil.

"It must have been lonely, having to keep it to yourself all those years." Gwaine said.

"It was." Merlin admitted. "I just hope one day there'll be a time where people with magic won't have to hide any more and it will be seen as a force for good."

"All those times we got out of those life and death situations, that was you wasn't it?" Gwaine said. Merlin nodded. "Why didn't you ever tell any of us?"

"I didn't want you all to hate me." Merlin said, his voice breaking a little.

"Hey." Gwaine said, pulling him into a hug. "We could never hate you, alright. So don't even think that."

"Thanks Gwaine. It really means a lot." Merlin said, trying hard to stop himself from crying. Arthur was right he was a girl. Gwaine held onto him for a few more seconds before letting him go. "We should go after Gaius, and see if Tabitha's alright."

"Will you tell me what happened to her?" Gwaine asked. Merlin thought for a moment.

"I will, but only because she'll need us." Merlin said. "And if I don't you'll only ask her and I don't want to put her through that." He began to tell Gwaine the story of what happened yesterday, Gwaine looking guilty for most of it. When he got to the end it took him a while to convince Gwaine not to go and kill Arthur, even when he calmed down he still seemed to be silently fuming. So on the way to Tabitha's chambers Gwaine spoke about ways he was going to embarrass Arthur, as his own form of revenge.

When they got there Gaius was just leaving, as he had other duties to attend to. Merlin, for some reason, didn't mention that Gwaine now knew of his magic. Probably because he didn't want a five year lecture. He said that Tabitha was just sleeping now and when she woke up she should be fine. Merlin and Gwaine stayed anyway and for hours, and long after night had fallen, Merlin told Gwaine all the times he had saved Camelot using magic. Tabitha slept dreamlessly through them all.

Eventually, when the sun rose over Camelot, Tabitha's eyes fluttered open. She sighed to herself, having just had the most peaceful nights sleep that she could remember. Tabitha knew it had something to do with Merlin's magic. As she knew what had happened earlier, but it didn't upset her. At least, not as much as it had earlier. There were probably still some lasting effects of that enchantment, she just hoped it wouldn't wear off to quickly.

She looked over to see Merlin and Gwaine sitting beside her in chairs, they seemed to be deeply asleep. She almost found herself smiling. They must have been waiting a long time for her to wake up. Tabitha heard whispering, and she looked over to see Gwen and Jane standing in the doorway. She closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep and tried to overhear what they were saying.

"I'm sorry Milady, she hasn't woken up since you last came." Jane said, Tabitha could almost see her blushing. She always was nervous around Gwen, no matter how friendly she was.

"Thank you Jane. I know I should be staying, but until she wakes I don't think there's much I can do. With Merlin and Gwaine here I don't want her to feel crowded when she wakes up." Gwen said worriedly. Tabitha felt that smile again, trust Gwen to feel guilty about that. She was Queen. She didn't have to come and see how she was at all.

"I really don't mind Milady, and you do more than enough Milady." Jane said.

"Thank you Jane, if she wakes would you please come and get me?" Gwen asked.

"Yes, Milady." Jane said. Tabitha knew she would now be curtseying respectfully. She heard Gwen leave, and Tabitha felt guilty. She was going to say that she was awake before she left so Jane wouldn't have to go and find her. Jane came and sat on a chair on the other side of Tabitha's bed.

Tabitha opened her eyes and yawned dramatically. She knew that drama class wasn't a waste of time, even if she had forgotten her lines and almost fallen off the stage in the curtain call, anyway Jane bought it.

"Tabitha." Jane said smiling. "How are you feeling?"

"Alright." Tabitha said. She honestly did, she was almost sure it was the enchantment now. It was as if all the angry or hurt feelings were locked away in the back of her head. They were there, she just couldn't feel them.

"I'll go tell the Queen." Jane said. Before she left she went over to Merlin and Gwaine and shook them awake. "Who-What's happened." Gwaine blurted out, almost falling off the chair. Jane blushed again.

"Tabitha's awake." She said, before leaving them. Gwaine and Merlin looked at her, they both seemed really concerned. Tabitha gave them a smile.

"How are you feeling?" Gwaine asked.

"Jane's already asked me that." Tabitha said. "I'm alright."

"You are for now, the enchantment is still effecting you." Merlin said sadly.

"Yes, it must be..." Tabitha stopped suddenly, remembering Gwaine was there. She looked between them. The lack of reaction from Gwaine making her think she'd heard wrong. "I'm sorry can you say that again?" She said as steadily as she could.

"The enchantment I put on you with magic must be still working. Well, it would be. Me being an all powerful warlock." Merlin said, beginning to smile. Tabitha's face must have been something, because Gwaine burst out laughing. Tabitha was speechless. Eventually she got out.

"You do know Gaius is going to kill you right." Merlin's smile fell at once, which made Gwaine laugh even more if anything. "How did you find out?" Tabitha asked Gwaine, when he managed to stop laughing.

"I told him." Merlin said.

"You told him? Why? You didn't even tell me, I just happened to find out" Tabitha said.

"It's not my fault, he guilted me into it." Merlin said, defending himself. Tabitha smiled, before her face became serious.

"Did you tell him?" Tabitha asked.

"Yes." Merlin said.

"I'm so sorry Tabitha." Gwaine said honestly. Tabitha nodded.

"What's this enchantment then?" Tabitha asked.

"It's a spell I read about a few weeks ago. Whoever you cast the enchantment on can only think of good memories, you remember they happened. You just can't see them. They're in the back of your head so the feelings you have when you think of them aren't so strong." Merlin said. "It should be starting to wear off." Tabitha couldn't remember exactly how these memories made her feel, but she knew they hurt a lot. She wanted to stay as she was now. She felt safe.

"Can't you do it again?" Tabitha asked.

"I'm sorry I can only use it once on each person, and even if I could I wouldn't." Merlin said truthfully.

"Why?" Tabitha asked.

"You can't hide from the past for the rest of your life, you need to face it and try to move on." Merlin said sadly. "The only reason I used it back there was because your fears were too much, they were starting to take over."

"What if it gets too much again?" Tabitha asked nervously.

"It won't." Merlin said firmly. "You won't let it."

"And if you ever need us we'll be there." Gwaine said.

"Tabitha?" Merlin began. "You don't have to, but Arthur wants to see you." Tabitha knew the enchantment was starting to wear off, because she felt a surge of anger and hurt at the mention of his name. She pushed it down though. She wouldn't let her fears take over again.

"I'll have to see him sooner or later." Tabitha said strongly.

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to keep it together this time, I can't use that enchantment on you again." Merlin said.

"And try not to give me a heart attack again." Gwaine said.

"I can do it." Tabitha said determinedly.

Gwen came in a few minutes later, she warmly hugged Tabitha. Telling her how worried she had been. Merlin gave her a slight nod, and she went and got Arthur. He seemed nervous when he came in, as was Tabitha. The others left after hugging Tabitha once more. Merlin stood in the doorway though. She didn't want to look at Arthur, she forced herself though. She didn't feel the anger so much as the hurt when their eyes met. Tabitha tried to keep her thoughts clear.

"How are you feeling?" Arthur asked worriedly.

"If anyone else asks me that." Tabitha said with a nervous smile, keeping her voice as steady as she could.

"I mean it." Arthur said seriously.

"I'm alright." Tabitha said.

"Tabitha what happened earlier?" Arthur asked in concern. Tabitha wanted to tell him. Wanted to make him see, but she looked past him to Merlin. He shook his head slightly.

"I can't tell you." Tabitha said with all the strength she could muster.

"But the way you looked at me back there." Arthur began, looking upset. "Will you at least tell me if it was because of me?"

"Yes it was." Tabitha said truthfully. She had thought about lying, but if she had she knew he would of demanded to know what made her so upset.

"I'm sorry." Arthur said, he thought back to what he could have done. He couldn't think of anything though. At least nothing that would make one of the strongest people he knew fall apart like this. He knew how good Tabitha was at hiding her feelings, from everyone except Merlin. So whatever he did, it must've been bad. Even though Arthur had no idea what he had done he was determined to make it right. "What did I do?..."

"I'm sorry too, but I can't tell you. Please don't ask me again." Tabitha said.

"I'm sorry, I won't. It's just, I really don't want you to hate me." Arthur said. "I don't know what I've done, but I promise I'll do anything to make it right. Is there anything I can do?"

"There will be, one day." Tabitha said. Carson had died because of the laws against magic, so Tabitha told herself that one day magic would be free. When the day came Tabitha would make sure Arthur kept his promise. "Until then just give me time." Arthur nodded understandingly. He went to leave but then stopped.

"Can I expect you at training tomorrow?" Arthur asked.

"Just try and keep me away." Tabitha said, with a smile that came easier to her than she thought it would. Arthur returned the smile before leaving. Maybe there was hope for their friendship.

They say that time heals all wounds, and it's true. It does. Even when you lose someone close to you. That doesn't mean you won't think about them every night before you go to sleep. Or that you won't have to find the courage you need to get up in the morning, but one day. It could take weeks, or even months. You'll find that when you think of the person you lost you'll feel sad, but you'll be able to remember them for their life and not their death. If you need to, now and then, you'll still cry. Other times though, you'll find yourself smiling. Remembering them, and all the reasons you loved them to begin with. Merlin saw Tabitha smile the sad smile he knew so well.

Tabitha knew Arthur never meant to throw that sword, he seemed to really feel guilty for what happened that day. She knew he was a good man, and even Carson had thought that. He had given him hope. Hope that one day Albion would come and magic would be free. Tabitha didn't say that she never hated him, or that she never wanted to scream at him for being so blind. Eventually though, after months of calling him a prat, she could honestly say. She'd forgiven him.

**So Gwaine knows:) I thought it was about time, after all the hinting he knew. It will help the story from now on as well:) I planned out at the start what's going to happen in the story, but ideas are welcome:) A few months have passed in the next chapter so we have to find out what Morgana's been doing in that time, especially now she knows the identity of Emrys. By the way the next chapter is going to be happier, because the last two have been quite depressing. Review please:)**


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